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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

i know i am not the perfect one girl...
n i knw m not that good...
but all i know is that i am in love..
n u knw in 7 months il move...
.
so will u be with me when il be away
or will u leave me
n let the memories fade away....
or may b ul hold me tyt
when i come around next time
.
.
all u decide to do is all i wanna know
m so much in love wid u, i dnt want u to go....
.
there is no limit to my love baby
i dont want u to say MAY BE
when m gonna come back n ask u
with my hands around u n tears in my eyes
.
ask u from my heart, marry me baby
i might sound insane but i really want u to be my lady
.
.
tell me wat will u say
tell me wat will u do
will u say no to me
or will u say i wanna marry u too
cus no matter what girl..
il always love you

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

come, fall in love

tarun kaushik writes again, this time about the most wonderful feeling.... love



Es verletzt, um jemand zu lieben, a german phrase meaning- “It hurts when you love” on the thirsty lips of Hilbert , madly in love with Annaleisa and a tiny drop of tear kissing down the cheeks of Hilbert were the testimony of the fact that all dreams of Hilbert which at the verge of actualization once, turned to restless illusions in no time. It looks as if thunders of dirty gray monstrous clouds would have enveloped the first ray of cherishing sunshine and nature came to standstill. He was caught in a maelstrom of emotions. Blackness had just given way to the only glowing candle of love and suddenly a strong breeze of ruthlessness shattered even that hope of enlightenment as Annaleisa turned down the quest for immense love Hilbert had for the lady. Does love really hurt?

Let’s go deep into the ocean of love and try to understand the real elixir of this unavoidable enigma. How often it happens that every letter of a single word signifies a different aspect, still combines all to form quite a powerful meaning. Love is that extremely angelic feeling which encourages you to be lonely amongst cocophony , riding high on horse of fantasies. Its an oath which one takes naturally as he finds himself in it. It is a victory for those who could recognize it and an indefinite source of that energy which forms the only means of survival for the rest part of your life.

Sometimes a mere imagination can place you into such a frame of mind from where everything looks clear and distinct. One early morning as you woke up, found urself amidst that ethereal feeling which can only be felt in an environment where every single entity dares to wear the crown of the most beautiful on earth. A colorful rainbow adding to the elegance of the crystal clear sky and its various colors spreading to each and every corner of life. The late night dew forming the plasmatic memberane of every nascent leaf adding to the liveliness of the atmosphere. The sweet fragrance extending a buoyant welcome to the love in the air. All this stimulates the thrilling positive vibes in the core of your heart as if someone might have tickled the rested strings of a violen. And when such like is the atmosphere , suddenly someone’s image flashes across your mind and those bittersweet memories add to the extra shine engrossing your face along with a mild smile. This indelible feeling is termed TRUE LOVE.

Pregnancy period is the most painful times for any woman. In those testing circumstances husband nurtures his lady like a nascent seedling, that she feels on the top of the world. Husband tries in every possible way not to avoid every minor requirement which is must for her or may please her. Those regular visits for medical check-ups and repeatedly asking doctor about her health. The coming baby who is still to enlighten the world, with his birth lays down the seeds of further strenghthening bond between his parents.this is true love.!

For some true love looses its significance without sex. Is it really true? Or is it just a perception of those who feel its true? Ask this question to a lady whose life is ruined as her husband is hiv positive. What next? What she must do now? Whether she should be courageous enough to fight this battle of loneliness or should surrender and make a separate path. Don’t be surprised if she decides to be with her husband even after this ineffable trauma and help him to come out of this. This is true love!

In a garden,a flirty cherishing red rose is keenly eying a gorgeous lily but not able to continue it further , as a cool breeze of air helps shying lily to hide itself further into the bouquet of blossoming flowers. This leaves a charming couple sitting on a deserted bench in the same garden in a state of enviness. Those walking hand in hand on the lonely lanes and sipping from the same cup of tea trying to feel each other’s presence even more. This defines yet another dimension of love.

Today’s Salim carries dauntless determination to cross seven oceans to achieve his beloved and impress her and Anarkali also dares to have the will of leaving all the boundaries dwindling into insignificance when it comes to her love life.

When you are in love,you find yourself cut from the stirring transitoriness of the world and your every thought belongs to your beloved. When this love further deepens you get married which is termed in our society as “love marriage”.love symbolizes freedom but the melodrama starts when love gives way to insecurity. Husband wife are like two poles of a single magnet both are part of one entity but still each has a sense of fear regarding the external pole’s attraction. Unfortunately in few cases, love birds of once turn to bitter enemies which should not be the case.

Naina : you are again late.

Rajeev : had an important meeting, dear.

Naina : why are you lying?

Rajeev : me lying. Excuse me, are you alright?

Naina : I am.but think you are not in the best of spirits.

Wonder who naina and Rajeev are? Actually, Rajeev had promised naina a candle light dinner. don’t misinterpret them as a married couple , then what else? Live in relationship? Well, it’s a new formula that the new generation is experimenting with to know each other well before the marriage.so, how efficient is this method and does it provides a pragmatic solution to the current problem of clashes in the newly wedded couples? Pluses and minuses have always marked the feasibility to persist in a society but optimism creeps in when this institution lights a hope of an impeccable life partner.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistablydesired. Come,fall in love

Fall in love with someone who could enlighten your world of dreams,

Someone who could provide the zeal and zest for your life to rock,

And someone who could make you feel the most significant on earth as symphony of love creates melodies of sentiments in every heart.but don’t forget to respond to each and every feeling of your beloved with a sense of honesty and an infallible faith because when heart break it REALLY HURTS !

Thursday, November 5, 2009

:( sadness

I dont have words to describe the pain.
Never before my face was so expressionless.
The joy of moving to a new place is not worth the sadness that has filled my heart.
The tears on the brink of my eyes are not aware,
whether its for the loss, or the newly found joy.
Friends and foes, bitter fights and silly jokes,
bitching and back biting will miss everything.
Forgive me for once , and for all
'coz if I pained you or hurt your feelings.

PS: written by a friend who means the world to me

Thursday, October 29, 2009

life meets at NH-8 @ 9 AM

TARUN KAUSHIK WRITES AGAIN, THIS TIME A VERY COOL RHYME....

CHEK OUT .....

LIFE MEETS AT NH-8 AT 9 AM






Well, it was the last hairpin to be attached,

Into the beautiful blossoming bouquet

But the alarming sound of the car interrupted,

She looked back with lack of amazement

But full of anguishness and disagreement

Seems wanted to convey a small message

Which must have been something like that,

Car has no wings and if it would have had

She would have flew over the the bloody traffic jam.

And as if that was not enough,

Cab upfront took an emergency break,

With no mercy taking the poor car bumper on stake.

The scene, a regular one on our NH8 and in style if we say,

Life meets NH8 at 9:00 AM everyday.

Peak office hours, lack of synchronized traffic,

Haphazard moving vehicles and

Some more uncontrolled tragic

But the significant part ,amidst all these drama,

People still reach their offices with 10 min of dilemma

Life in a metro is we all talk about,

Sometimes even proud of living the way we walk out.

But is there anything more to talk of,

Same weekends every time, though we wait for.

May be a beer or two or even a disc can’t be ruled out.

For smokers, it’s not an issue as it hardly cuts the number short.

But that’s not possible on all the weekends

When your mom firing bombs on your head end.

You have still to complete those boring family assignments,

Which you hate to be made a part of but you have all the commitments

And what if your dad caught you making plans for some cool outing,

A fury of unwanted suggestions which makes you feel like shouting.

And take my word dude; your evening is completely done.

And you realize how time runs.

Go for early sleep without any sorrow

As Sunday is the only thing waiting for you tomorrow.





Sun on high and family waiting for you in the dining room,

And you left your bed around 12:00 in the noon.

Few plans getting through, few still to get executed,

And others only into the making though unexpected.

But most of them getting dumped which certainly is not a new thing,

As the records of last 12 weekends bring.

And as the sun set himself to reach the other end of sky,

Sunday had met with yet another speechless and a boring cry

Hardly had you decided the combination of your next day wearing,

Even shoes could not get polished with the night disappearing.

Moreover you don’t even know when the last song kept repeating,

Until your mom switched off your PC and found you sleeping.”

Get ready for the day my son”, you can hear his voice

Bringing you out of your dreams without your own choice

Hey that’s your dad and a cup of tea lying beside you

Eyes going straight to the nearest watch and you need to run through.

Monday blues gets further worsened,

When your cab driver warns you again

“Sir, you could have been left today as well” and you can feel your vein.

What else man!! Yet another journey starts in its way

Through NH8 which meets life at 9:00 AM everyday.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

she had to come

She went her way, deciding wat was ryt/
He decided to wait till he died/
She had to come it took her sometime
.
one day she came back saw him bleedin n dying....
that was d day she realisd what true love means
d guy had to wait for her
.
god had to cry angels had to weep,
cus they were not together
.
like flowes blossom again
like sunligh shines after the dark
they had to bear some pain
but they were not destined to be apart
.
reincarnated once again they came together
n dey stayed together for d moment dat had to last forever...
.
:)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

When they smile

Today someone asked me if i can help him with his articles.
I read the articles and decided il post them one by one.
Since he is a working guy busy with his job, he hardly gets time to create his own blog.
And that this busy schedule is taking the writer in him away...
so i decided to help him....
though i know i dont have many readers but still for the few i have i loved this article....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Wonder if that was his last step but the soldier overcame the last threshold, hundred odd guns eyeing his head with an array of high beam lights cutting darkness into pieces and allowing him no time to set himself up when he realized that he had crossed border leaving his men on the other side.

For a moment , he scanned through all his life and engrossing his mind were those major or minor occasions , his family , his dreams and all he could have thought of in that fraction of second .And now came that flashing smile with dimples on his cheeks forming the two ends of an endless rainbow.His enemy was in complete disarray. With such an expression on his face but the soldier knew that this was his moment and now he took a second step towards his enemy with his gun roaring high on his shoulder trying to diminish his enemy into the lands of uncertainity .A bullet came and dug into his chest and still he fired few of his enemies out of their lives but the second bullet did him on his knee and third and then fourth and many more left him kissing the princess of his dreams.This princess was his own land whom he loved and died for though his mother would have loved to have a bride for him as he a was a bachelor.

In all this what would amaze anyone is that enlightening piece of smile which marked the royal end of soldier.How often people forget to smile as they say there is no reason to smile but what about this soldier who could find a reason even at the end of his life , though it was not an end but the beginning of an era of many other soldiers who would inspire themselves to achieve something similar to this great patriot.If you smile, you fetch an energy to win every moment and a thirst to achieve every phase with destiny opening the doors of success for you .Few say its hard to bring a smile when you are in the worst state of your life .But for those who think like that, life is full of such good and bad instances its just our mentality that everytime we get stuck , we consider it the worst part of the whole story of which we are the characters with our heads against wall trying to sort it out by hook or by crook.

Problem and solution are two dead ends of a rope which we have to hold throughout our lives .Waving the rope is mesmerizing the problem and thus solution gets further out of of the catch.Just keep that rope down somewhere and calmly try to join the two ends together and that is in other words , thinking over the the matter and analysing the situation and thus finding the solution .This was a small inference of what one can follow in all his mind boggling activities where he feels that coming out is like snatching a prey out of the lion’s jaw.

Live it with a bang, see forward , the whole world has laid down eyes for your arrival , prove your metal and show them that you are the best but all this needs a smile on your face and that will win you success in all the phases and spheres of life.
.

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.

.

.

PS: This is an original post by Tarun Kaushik from delhi.

you can get to him on his mail id: tarun.sagittarius@gmail.com

Saturday, October 17, 2009

happy diwali

this diwali is gonna be really different and really fun...
for the first time it's the five of us celebrating.....
me
pops
mum
bro n bhabhi
....
we played flash last night in which i lost 100 bucks...
it was won, bhabhi the amateur player won the max....
everyone is busy right now and i got a lil time to scribble...
mum got a fractured foot but still is working in the kitchen...
bhaiya and dad doing the job of the market and all
me n bhabhi decorating the house....
its so much fun to be with your happy family...
and two more days and everyone will leave...
il leave for my college bro n bhabhi for there city...
dad for his office n my cute sweet adorable mum will be left alone in the house...
but still these memories will stay till the next occasion when we meet again.
love is awesome...
it's good to be loved...
this way too..
.
.
happy diwali everyone.
. enjoy ;)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

'ome sweet 'ome

One week more....
Yes finally m going home....
and with home comes different feelings...
home a place where i relax....
a place where i used to meet my ex...
a place where i spend without any limitations
a place where i get good food
a place where my mentors live
the streets i learned walking on
the people i love the most
the walls which still have my pencil drawings
the floor i used to crawl on...

there was a time when someone down the street used to just come up on the terrace to see me driving by...
certainly things change.... now they don't have the time to call me....
.
there was a time when our neighbours used to treat me with chocolates everyday, and i could go in their house at any time possible, But, now it's like i didn't get a call from them on my birthday
.
this time m going back with no one waiting for me to pass by.
.
But this time i am gonna miss someone....
someone who came real close to my heart...
a person who is in daily routine.
.
Dis time after four months, m goin home with a smile :)
Dis smile is dedicated to that special person...
and so is this post....

Monday, October 5, 2009

while sitting in a movie theatre with few friends, i was just thinking about how effective can certain sounds be.

the sound of "to, too, and two"

two people define love
too, added to the phrase i love you , gives you an everlasting smile
to is where i don't know m heading...

a small simple word which makes your day shine, or sometimes make you cry




Thursday, October 1, 2009

what a day!!!!

29 october
7 pm
bistro beach cafe'
.
.
.
me: hey hi
rashmi: hey kya hua mood kyun off hai...
me: nuthin m just feeling bad for whateve happened
rashmi: it's ok yaar hota hai, chill......
me: hmmm
.
.
1 hour back
outside the cafe'
.
me: hey bhaiya m really sorry
sumit: for what??
me: for watever happened today, i mean you had to go through so much
sumit: arey chill hota hai
.
2 hrs back
at the cafe'
.
sumit: surbhit jaldi ek minute mein mein next traffic signal pe aaja..
me: yea....
..........
30 seconds later
..........
me: kya hua???
sumit: fir ruk gai, dhakka de....
me: ok wait......
.
then we started the car ,because the ignition was not working. And why it was not working ???
.
.
4 pm
saket nagar,
.
.
me: dude, look at my leg, its trembling
sabhya: fuck bhaiya, run!!!!!
me: damnit you know how to drive...
sabhya: no....
me: wat the fuk sabhya...... see if anyone is following us...
sabhya: no, you just drive
me: lets take the deroute
sabhya: whatever i don't wanna end up in prison...
me fuck u bugger...
.
2 pm
at the cafe
.
sabhya: bhaiya can u come and pick me up
me: dude take an auto na , its too hot outside
sabhya: bro i cant come in an auto, processor and all is with me, this is a delicate guitar
me: hmmm... wait il give you a call in 2 minutes
sabhya: ya ..
.
me: yaar, its too hot outside and i have to go and pick up sabhya, do you mind if i take your car..
sumit: hmmm ya...
.
3 pm
.
me: arey sabhya, sorry i forgot to revert... niche aaja, we r goin
sabhya: ya..
...
........
few moments later
.
sabhya: dude , drive slow...
me: boss, we are rockers...
sabhya : but still....
me: hehe
.
me: shit............
sabhya: fuck fuck fuck....
the car skidded and to avoid a collision with the car driving ahead of us i took a left, drifting, it hit an auto which went on two wheels, to crash into a bike and there was total chaos...
.
suddenly my mind was working at amazing speed..
.
culprits: me and sabhya
victims: poor chap
results: pay heavy cash, myt take me to the nearby police station
way out: RUN!!!!
.
i hit the throttle and we were off,
there was ni signal that could stop us and we took all the deroutes possible
.
reached the cafe'...
.
sumit: what happened
me: i hit an auto and it went bad, i just dint stop
sumit: crap, did anyone get hurt???
me: no , no one
sumit: ok i have to go home, will be back in an our, will jam after that.
me: k
----
--------------
----
sumit: surbhit jaldi ek minute mein mein next traffic signal pe aaja..
me: yea....
..........
30 seconds later
..........
me: kya hua???
sumit: fir ruk gai, dhakka de....
me: ok wait......
.
then we started the car ,because the ignition was not working. And that was why it was not working.
the car's battery wiring was all gone!!!!
the front light was gone....
.
sabhya called as a day two lucky fuckers escaped prison
i was sad cus the car as on 1 october, is still not working
.
11pm
google talk im window
.
sabhya: hey had fucking hot fun
me: hehe we the lucky hitters and runners ...hahahhaa
sabhya: fucking lucky fuckers
.
.
PS: i owe all apologies to the poor auto waala uncle, i just had to fly cus there was no one who got hurt.....
rest all is history
hate me if you feel like
i dsnt matter anymore

Friday, September 18, 2009

well i turn 22....
and this past one year has taught me more than i ever learned in the lsat 21 years put together.
I went through emotions which became too hard for me to handle. but then as a friend of mine says...
lets put it aside, there is always a new start....
so she makes me smile....
:)
i'l be gettin infinite blows on my ass....
And then we have a birthday bash,...
and then the band's jam
things are getting right....
and may be better...soemtimes u just have to let go...

i want to thank everyone who has ever cheated me in any sense, thanks for making me stronger.
thanks everyone


Monday, September 14, 2009

mera budday

After a long time i got some time to scribble.

Cleaning the wounds and trying to walk again

This coming saturday holds great importance to me. One, it's my birthday... though it is not the reason to be excited about....
This saturday is special to me because it is the day we perform.
Yes, i am a part of a rock band (hehe..)....
the name of the band is os, happens to be the hindi word for dew.
m just the lyricist, and was glad to know that crowd is already loving the lyrics.
Sittin at the cafe' from 11 am to 3 am, jamming all night long...sumeet, himanshu, darpan, surbhit and gaurav.
Love this busy schedule, actually doesn't give me any time to feel the pain anymore....
And yes, there is this special kinda bonding between the band members that they understand eachother very well.
driving 13 kms, on the hill side to get a puff, and a sip of the beer ...
and then goin to the sheesha lounge and singing.
it's fun
saturday the day os performs publicly...
venue:: BISTRO BEACH
date :: 19 september
Time :: noon to 2 pm AND 6pm to 8pm



ps: from 2pm to 6 pm, its my birthday party too, booked a disc so we gonna dance like shit!!!!...
jam packed schedule.....
love it


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

19 sep, that happens to be the day i turn 22, n i dedicate all the blessings, a very few people in the world would have for me, to my family. love u pops love u mom love u bro n bhabhi n still love u !!!! *sob* *sob*



Thursday, July 16, 2009

my smile doesn't portray my heart
my heart doesn't portray me
it's not me what you see
its wat u always wanted me to be

Sunday, July 12, 2009

"HOMO SWEET HOMO"

The most debated topic these days happen to be about homosexuality being :D-criminalised.Many people come up with the logic of it being unnatural, immoral and against the culture of India. When i think about it, the first question that comes to my mind is, HOW DO YOU DEFINE NATURAL SEX.
Is having a sex partner of the same gender a crime. When it is something I am doing, out of my own will, without effecting the world outside, without hurting, or killing anyone, how can u criminalise it.
Natural sex is defined as "A penal-vaginal penetration that result in offsprings"
Then isn't using a protection, in a way, makes it unnatural.
MORALITY.
The question is , who decides morality. Morality is nothing but just the voice of the majority, which wishes to rule the society, with there ways of living.
So choosing for a sex partner of the same gender is considered to be immoral because majority of the people happen to be non-homosexuals.
Then they talk about the culture, i dont have anything much to say on the culture of India. KHAJURAHO TEMPLE, the temple of love, has sculptures that depict, ANIMAL SEX, LESBIAN SEX AND ORGY SEX.
Now wasn't this prevelnt in the old times.
Some also say that homosexuality is a mental disease, but it is not a mental disease.This has been confirmed by major health organisations around the world including the American Psychological Association.
Then why to stigmatise the people who choose to be a little different from the narrow minded majority.
Premaritial sex and adultery is also considered as a crime, but we all know that this all is prevalnt all around the world including the country we live in, because you just cannot control a persons desire to choose a sex partner and at the age he/she decides to do so.
Its completly upon a person to choose his or her sex partner, now if you term it as homosexuality, it won't effect them in any way.
There was a placard which said, "pyaar kiya toh darna kya"

I take a stand for the homosexuals.
I hope Indian grand-dads learn to walk the steps of the 21st century


HERE ARE SOME PICTURES FROM THE KHAJURAHO TEMPLE.


Saturday, July 4, 2009

finally!!!

i can never forget the past three weeks.
Exams five days away and you still don't know a word.
A friend comes to rescue, but god aint willing to help you either.
Serious stomach infection, and exams 4 days away.
Anyways, they read out the stuff to you and somehow you make to the exam room realising that you forgot your calculator.
anyways exams were not what fanned me. It was how the things around were moving. Seeing a person , becoming friends and realising that he is no more.
old friends calling, ignoring your requests and severe castigation on your way daily. A toady person, getting his way to the top, and you losing the post.
joining a ravelry with a spineless guy who runs away when you have a fight with other elephantic bodies around you.
Drivng and crashing again....
cought by the cops, admonished and left.
a big faux pas which costed me Rs. 4k.
A helping new friend to tell you what struggle is.
Seeing your old friends to find new ones. :) :)
hospital, deaths , detestations , execrations
heart sunken deep inside a trough.....
everything goin the wrong way....
no support
no love
a friend says, god is testing u.
i say, how many times.
phew!!!!!!!

PS: bloggong seriously helps u wid ur emotional outburst.... ;)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

for you, lol.........o


it ws ur love, that i smiled, may be not realising how many tears i am giving you,
it was your love that used to be there during my physio sessions, whn i used to cry wid pain
it was u who held my hand again n again,
it was u who was always wid me,
this song is for u,
its not an original creations ,but its very very close to my feelings.
i wish i get a comment. from u



Dancin' in the dark middle of the night \\*when i got intruduced to the phrase TLC*//\
Takin' your heart and holdin' it tight \\* when i was back home after my accident n u came over*//
Emotional touch touchin' my skin \\* when i cried over n over for the same reason*//
And asking you to do what you've been doin' all over again \\* when i would take my name, shulbit*//
Oh it's a beautiful thing don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know what it is that won't let me go

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Oh it's your love

Better than I was, more than I am \\*clearin my backlog*//
And all of this happened by taking your hand \\* those nyts we studied together*//
And who I am now is who I wanted to be \\* wish u cud see it with me*//
And now that we're together, \\*:(*//
I'm stronger than ever \\*;(*//

Oh it's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in
If you asked me why I've changed,
All I gotta do is say your sweet name

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Oh, it's your love

Oh it's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you konw what it is that won't let me go

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under,
Oh it's your love
It's your love, it's your love, it's your love

Saturday, June 6, 2009

at the corner of the maze

Everysem end , when i reach my hometown back, due to the restrictions on the
mobile network, i take my mum's cell.
I gift her with bills of 3k or infact the maximum has been 4.5k.
She yells, shouts and tells me that this should be the last time.
I like an obidient son, agree.
But next time the story repeats itself.

""It's really hard to hate the ones you love, and when you don't find a
reason at all.""
My emotions have undergone so many changes , seeing a ray of hope and
then seeing it diminish.
I feel like a bad guy , hurt and in pain. Exams at the corner and i am still
clueless of what is in the book.
I work, i walk, i laugh...i play i smile i cry.
but everything reminds me of something which is not with me anymore.
Love, they say is neverending.
but sometimes, somethings get above love and you are so into to that
feeling that calling it ends doesn't feel possible.
I try to be busy,
joining firms, taking classes, driving, and everything to keep my mind
occupied.
life sometimes takes turns that are just not possible for you to
accept.
it took a turn for me before, i accepted it. Cus i had some source of
motivation
what to do when that source of motivation is gone???

PS: i decided i wont blog, but thanx to neeraj agrahari, ravi porwal,
rajani ranjan, deepak bedi and a few more that i am continuing.
they told me they like my blog, and i should write.... tc

Sunday, May 31, 2009

hello 

i have been in this blogging thing for a while
i'd really appreciate all those people who have been reading and commenting.
thanx for you feedbacks

this happens to be the last post  on my blog.
i hope u enjoy reading the lyrics i had put up.
ciao
thanx
surbhit

Thursday, May 28, 2009

it's good to thank the one who deserve to b thanked

1:27 am
place: funkyrave's room

thankyou,
all, for loving me, n giving me reason to smile.
n for hating me , so that i know wats dere to change.
for those who hate me, i have no words of appreciation, just thanx a lot
for those who love or loved me i would say thanx
i dnt knw if i shud write the names as such or not but yea i'l put in the reasons for which i love em' too
the one guy i love the most is brushing his teeth ryt now, who makes me feel so positive n gives me  reason to believe in me again
creates that aura of positivity arnd me .... thanx bro...
a guy who is as emotional as me but takes everystep wid his mind controllin him... it will b even hard for him to realise dats this is for him, if u do, jus lemme knw bro
d childhood frnd wid whom i started as a foe bt nw is as close to me as my soul...
a brat in mumbai n an ass in banglore, for believing in me...
d chuiqitita i love the most :) no reasons for this :) :P nincompoop
a colg frnd who treats me like a bro n cares for me like anything...thanx jkr....
my roomies for listenin to my crap n acceptin me.
n in the end, i love myself, once again i love myself....
n u all r the reason for this
love u all
love u alot lol.........0
:)

Monday, May 25, 2009

when the emotions get drained!!!!

jus picture this,
you have your presentation, u r least prepared get up, convince yourslef that there is no way out so gotta face watever that  comes up.
you get ready to leave for your project partners place, who is mad at you cause you din't turn up a day before though u promised.
you get down, push the key in the bike, about to kick, n your cell phone rings.
it's your best friend calling....
you start the bike, n drive while you talk, you reach the place still on the phone and then get your good luck charm.
you start with the report you have to submit.
leave for the college, driving 13 kms in scorching heat, without eating anything, no dinner,no breakfast.
through the sandunes you reach your college, already dirty,(thanx to the dust) and you r informed that u r next for the presentation. no time to prepare you connect your laptop and take the seat.
they ask you questions and you r numb, no answers, u r jus cursing urself.
anyways bad day, everything ends, clouds in the sky you start your bike, your project partner, dipressed as u r, sittin bak.driving slowly, both completly pissd off..
you look up.... dark clouds alll around n then u notice a drop of water on the petrol tank.
10 minutes later you r driving and searching for a place to hide your computer.
you find a "dhabba" u go in put ur laptop bag dere and wait for the rain to stop.
and then you get a push, n u r out.... they wont let u in...
n u feel the rain....
u feel the drops on your head, n then u decide to stay outside,... 
u dance, u drive u forget.....
you njoy
you thank
you feel good
you feel bad
u love
u hate
u smile n den u cry
u go through all the emotions possible
and all this covered , thanx to the drops he gave u
to let it out
you come bak,
have u tea 
n u sleep
n u get up
n u write this
thanx god n luky charm
misss both of u
love both of u

Sunday, May 24, 2009

goodmorningzzzz zzzz

this is how my day starts
9:47 am
opening my eyes,
first thing, seaarch for my cell...
yes here it is and it shows 9 new msgs n 6 missed calls.
wow!!! 
next thing i do is open the lid of my computer to find that i had not even put it in sleepmode, great the torrent is downloaded so tonight have a job to do.
to my left are my books, to my right is a lousy creature a.k.a my roomie.
k first i reply to the messages, and then grab my tshrt get out of the bed.
*yaawwnnnn* find my sleepers and rush to the loo.
comeout,
go to the refrigerator and get some water, wash my face, take a look around...
pick up my books, put them on the table, clean my bed a bit, take of my sleepers off go back to the bed, play sum yanni and close my eyes and sleep again
:D
i know every undergraduate has the same way to start d morning....
yaawwnnn
sleeeeeeeeeeepzzzzzzzzzz zzzz zzzz

Saturday, May 23, 2009

finally,  back to blogging.
so much has happened, in the end smiles and tears leave me in a dilemma that this post shud be titled with sumthing sad, or sumthing happy. 
so i decide that dere will be no title at all :P ( the laziest n easiest way out, haina??)
njoing wid my friends n finding new ones.
having a bash, celebrating every moment at my bro's marriage , trying hard to forget what has happened 2 days back.
i danced like anything and i enjoyed like anything. made it sure that i don't leave anything undone, surprises for bhaiya n bhabhi.
that night when the "pheras" were scheduled, i can never forget that night.
Found a new friend who is a bit sad today :P .
enjoyed with bhaiya n bhabhi n family.
and had a great time with all the relatives together.
all cousins together , all grownups now, remembring the childhood memories.
visiting the ancestral house in lucknow was such a wonderfull feeling
n then in jammu too.
i was totally involved in my bro's marriage n that is the reason y i was out.
a frnd lost me, n a friend is in my list of the wonderfullest(:P, yea it's u chottu...) people i hav ever met....
now m back in indore.
n i think i have messed up my life too much now,
shud sit back n work,
plans ahead.
tc

PS: after reading this post, i think that dere is nuthin in it that makes it worth a post, but than next post will be a good one. 
m goin to sleep now take carezzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Thursday, May 21, 2009

m feelin so lonely;
so out of the place;
my loved ones r not wid me;
n they dint leave any trace;
.
my mind is reminiscing;
the tym that we had;
but now its all over;
n it feels so f***ing bad;
..
if you can hear it then i'l say;
m not happy without u today;
baby can't you come back n stay;
cus i promise u i'l never let u go away;
away from me, again......
..
my mind so numb now
 n the ground is so cold
i still remember you
though i've grown so old...
.
i still feel your touch
i still need love
i still rem i told u
i aint going  anywhere
..
if you can hear it then i'l say;
m not happy without u today;
baby can't you come back n stay;
cus i promise u i'l never let u go away;
away from me, again......
..
.
now that m in pieces
where r u now
m looking for your love,
can i get it sumhow....

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

hi 
sorry, have been out f this  blogging thing for sum tym... il post again, about what kept me away on friday.
hope you all check it
tc ciao

Saturday, April 11, 2009

dere goes my virtual shoe

my shoe list!!!!

haha, this is the trend these days. You don't like a politician , just aim at his head.
Throw your shoe, let it bless his head.
Your shoe will be auctioned at no less than 2 lac.
And if you happen to hit a good politician, than you might also get somewhere near 10 lacs.

Well i have my virtual shoe and i have a hitlist.
Here it goes...

first the parabolic flight of my shoe will end at the oily head of the so called king of the maharastra,
The idea behind the gopala gopala movie.
The anti teenage mind and the foe of St. valentine.

This great shoe will bounce from his head and land on the head of his son, rather both of them.

Next my shoe will travel from mumbai to indore,with a break journey at bhopal.
There it will directly go to room number 6220 (occupied by my love, who'll be moving to indore soon. lol!!!:P).
<>
then taking a flight to indore it will land at my roomie's head, for being so so careless.
Then it will take a flight to my college and will land at the head of every single faculty.
It will keep bouncing in my college for atleast 2 days m sure.
Then last bt not the least, my mighty shoe will wait.
it will wait till me n a special person are together (most probably 23.april.2009)
and then it will land at my head n at hers and again mine and repeat this task for a long long time.
lol!!!! sorry but aisa hoga!!!!
haha
and then 
auction mein 
all these people will be present to bid.
now 
you only tell, who will win the autcion , n wid wat bid!!!!
the minimum will be Rs. 5,000,000

:D:D


Friday, April 10, 2009

i wrote this when my lecture was going on.... postin it now



scribbled at 8/4/09 2:15 pm
ok!!!!
now m as sleepy as anyone can be, my eyes can't take it anymore.
2:15 pm 
D.S.P's class goin on n me sittin alone at the last occupied bench.
DSP's pakao lecture numbin my brain.
D teacher looks like a crocodile....
"i white crocodile"    **rather an albino crocodile**
Was not allowed in the exam, got a presentation due, nex wednesday,
Bunked no lecture today :P :P 
n now m as hungry as a ummmmmmm....dunno as a  what...bt very hungry

mann i miss dose school days when we used to sit together n throw chalks at the teachers (most of dem turnin at d right time n .....)
that window that used to give us the glimpse of d scenic beauty (the basketball court!!!)...
those tall girls with small skirts :D :D
those lunch boxes hidden under the books....
the relishing, mouth waterin, delightfulllll aloo ka paranthas....
and those gossips.
Those days when u had friends from the heart......
.
.
"" woh lamhe firse yaad aane lage hain...
..dost or yaroon se door akele waqt bitaane lage hain...""

ahhh the teacher shoutin at the guy in front of my desk brings me out of the dream.....
good lord the lecture is over....
phew!!!!
now m goin home
goodbye mam
rather good riddance...
d first thing il do is
sleeeeeeepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

: X :X

Great news to start the day.
i have been preparing well for my minor exams and jus a day before that i come to know that my name is not in the list.
Yes, i won't be allowed to appear in the exam.
And why would tha be?
because my attendance is low.
great, n why is it low, cus i was down wid jaundice,
and i did submit a medical signed by an authentic doctor and my dad.
but hell no, they won't understand.
.
.
.
m off till 13. no blogs from me now. damnit dey jus pissd me off big tym. ...great....
 :X :X :X
:(

Saturday, April 4, 2009

#21

this just came out of my mind when i saw that  news about the mumbai attack,
it was in my drafts for a long time.
i thought i'l publish it today!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
intakaam ki shama ko panah do ae yaroon
k watan ko lal rangne koi aaya hai
na hindu na muslin na sikh na isaai
woh toh bas klesh ka saaya hai
.
jalaa do usko apne vicharon se
uski bandook se unchi awaaz ho tumhari
mitta do usko is desh se
aantakwaad se nai hai dosti hamari
.
hai jazba agar marne ka
toh mauka yahi hai mere yaar
desh ki  dharti pe na behne do
tumhare bhaiyon ka rang lal

Friday, April 3, 2009

my new ride !!!!

well well well, finally i got one.
29 march 2009
i got my bike.
my own bike.
which i never thought i would get after 15 june 2007 happened.
But now i have  a sweety thats just for me...
and i can call it mine...
ahhh m fallin so much in luv wid u ....
k
i bought a pulsar 180 cc silver in color and with digital meter.
the one i had always desired.
now the one i care for...
mannn 
i got sum1 to b wid me now, when i am all alone...
:)
m goin on a ryd... tc y'all

Thursday, April 2, 2009

#20

i can beat em
cus its in my blood
i aint a geek man
i aint a nerd
so m gonna get ya ass
play sum b.jack 
m gonna win sum cash
cash yes fast yea
trance music playin on
beer drugs flowin on
smoke fillin my head n heart
cards flashin cash flowin
it aint luck mann its my day
the eyes in d sky dey cant see me
m gonna come out in a lemo
u cant even beat me
i know now wat to do
u dnt hav to teach me..
m alone n i like it
need no one to ease me
its my life n it follows one rule
d rule is "break every rule and jus b free"

Monday, March 23, 2009

diffrences....

This happened to me when i was in the baraat.Yes, it was the marriage of a friend's brother.Smiles, laughter everywhere.Spread all around.The procession started and we were dancing to the tunes of latest bolly songs.I did try to dance but then realised that this is not my game.I was at the side and was moving slowly ,forward, ignoring the traffic and the horns.I was happy, n looked to my right.There was a girl, no less then 18.stunning eyes she had and long hair.Everyone was happy, but she was not.I could feel the pain and disguise in her eyes.Being of the very same age, i could feel what she is thinking right now.I moved forward and she stood there, holdin the lamp that she was supposed to hold and continuing with her job of lightin the way of baraat.I could feel how much she wanted to get in the dancing group and enjoy. It's the prime years of her life and all she is doing is workin to get just two green notes.And people dressed up like celibrities crossin her and she is just looking at the dresses wondering if she will ever be able to wear dresses like these.No doubt it pinches you. it really does.The baraat had reached the venue and i went in to have dinner.But i was Just thinking what that group of people might be doing rightnow.i went out, to have a look.they all were outside a chaiwalla's shop.I could see that girl too.standing with a guy and laughing.i smiled to myself and came back.People really do accept what they get in life.And being the one for someone just makes it easier to accept....

Sunday, March 15, 2009

whatta journey!!!

on my way back to indore.
back to the college.
Hungry, nuthin to eat....
and can't buy anything to eat.
THANX to JAUNDICE.
i am very tired was moving all day long!!!!
xrays crossing me and my brain.
all the broken areas wispering in my ear that i am not normal.
all tired, and you board the train.
dirty one i tell u...
u call a friend.
hear a sweet voice telling you that there are your friends ready to wake up early(thats a tough job, wen u hav3 days of brain numbin questions and only day off is sunday)
but then they will.
and they plan to get color to wish me a belated holi.
lol!!!!
someone wants me to stay but wont say, but even i can't stay i have work.
missed about one month of my college... and now when i go back all i have is 1 month to cover everything, cus its my brothers marriage after one month.
i got a goodie bad too.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
will deliver it tommorrow morning.
i hope it's likes all i have put in this goodie bag is just love and care.
n for them who are getting colors for me.
i'd b most glad to see dem and i got chocolates forthem too.
i hope as i thought oofff i get to deliver the smiles m carryin in my bag and in my heart
luv y'all
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15 march 2009

ok i thot i'l end this blog but now sumthin happened tha forces me to type forward.
i reached bhopal and my a very special friend there.
waiting for me with roses in hand....
i got down, gave the goodies bag...
and everything was so good untill one friend came and he had colors.
5 friends and me, friends meeting for 30 mins.
The train moved and i was sure that it was not actually moving but just the engine being changed.
they pushed me back, no hugs and no byes just "go go go it's moving."
i was up in the train but was praying with all my heart that ...god plzzzzz stop the train and he did!!!
lol!!! got down called them n dey came running to me, the the first very special friend of mine hugged me.
WOW!!!
friends are no less den gems,
n when i hav people like you
life rocks!!!!
thanx all thanx fer the roses
and i guess i delivered the smiles
:D :D

PS: someone was touched and i am sure of this.
and than the idlis were awesome but they would've tastes better with a spoon...
lol!!!!
:D
m smilin and people in the train are looking at me as if m a  mad guy.
lol!!!
i am no doubt
tc

leave your comments.... i'l be glad to hear from your side too

Sunday, March 1, 2009

# 19

i always have raised my voice against any injustice that was being done to u
but now i realise that how injust was i to u
y could i never realise the love that u had
and y did i never hold u in my arms when u were feelin sad
where was i when u were searchin for me
i was i and u wanted we
now that i realise of what i have done
now that ur new jurney has begun
i know i can't ask for ur love again
but all i want u to b happy n smilin again
my words may hurt u all the time
n i knw i mean to u jus one thin dime
but here i want to say sorry for wat i had become
i have changed inside, hope u see the sun....

leave your comments.... i'l be glad to hear from your side too

Friday, February 27, 2009

a new beginning part II

befor starting with this post, you should read this post This is a continuation to the post linked.





lol!!! suhaas dis one is for u but m straight dude!!!


i don't know how to tell u all d details that happened with me...
even i don't remember much.
i get revived many times but to put in words is i guess way beyong my potential as i dont think m  very good with words.
i got back on 16th of july at around 11:30 pm.
There was this family in the same compartment who boarded the train from jhansi.
I was sitting in the train and looking outside.People were moving here and there. Chaos all around, it was my turn , i walked to the gate,dad following me and holdin my elbow.
I was at the gate and what was in front of me made me feel very special.
There were so many people who had come to the railway station in the middle of the night. I felt so special that my eyes were filled with the dew of gratitude and thankfulness.
i got down people around, 3 cars were there to pic 5 people who had come from a month of seeing and handling one of the most unexpected and harrowing situation.
i sat in a car and it was of my own volition.
Sittin in the front seat uncle did ask me about how m i feeling an all.
By this time i had become a prodigy in handling questions like these. Like they say, practice makes you perfect.
At Around midnight we got back and they parked the car in front of my house.
I got down and there were all my friends and neighbours waiting for me.
I could not control, i cried for the first time after my accident.
I everyone was there and my tears were just the only way i could potray my gratitude towards all those who cared to be there.
I went in, lied down on the bed, my friends stayed back for sometime and left.
I messaged her that I am fine and reached safely and went to sleep.
Those were the hard days to sleep. My left collar bone was fractured and my left hand was plastered.So, there was only one position in which i could sleep.
Next day a friend called me and told me that he has postponed his depature by one week. And later i came to know that he will be paying the late fees for registration cos he is going back late.
This was the time when all four of us were there in jammu. Me, deepak, shashwat, and ishan.
My right palm was paralised and my friends used to come, hold my hand and move my fingers, because that was advised by the doctors. keep moving your fingers, lol!!!.
Deepak ishan used to mock at me with some of the adult jokes that any boy can understand!!! I used to be on the bed all day long but these people used to make me feel special everyday.
I used to keep constant touch with her, she told me that she will be coming back for three days, and i knew why she is coming back.
Anyways she came to my home to see me. I was more than happy. And i could see the tears in her eyes that were forced to stay in because she was with her mother and i was with my mother.
they stayed back for 30 minutes and when she left we shook hands, just din't want to leave her hand but had to.
her mum was walink behind her mom was mine n she was the third one, she streched her hand backwards n i held her hand for 5 seconds and that way told eachother that how much we love and how much we care.
She went away.
deepak came in the evening and i told him.
he was happy because i was happy.
I wanted to see her again and i wanted to have a pizza too. Told deepak about both of my demands.
Next day at around 3 pm, deepak ishan and shashwat came and with a car.
I was lying down.
Deepak got the permission from my mum and dressed me up.
I sent her a textmsg n we were on our way, undoubtly deepak was driving very carefully.
We stopped jus a block before her house and she saw me from her veranda.
we had to move and we did.
reached the pizza place and odered. i got a call it was her.

" where are u? "
" i am at smokin joes!! y?? "
" i am coming there just want to meet you "
" are you really??? "
" ya baba just wait for me ok!! "
" hmmm i will , ajao "

few minutes after we met talked and she went.
i was back with my friends eating and i could not use my hands so deepak cut the pizza for me and shashwat n ishan were stuffing my mouth.
funny but touching.
ALL THESE PEOPLE LEFT FOR THEIR COLLEGES.
and were in constant touch with me.
Many people used to come and meet me.
Dad arranged a party for me surviving combined with his birthday party.
I found what it means to have goood friends.
i found what it means to b loved.
I love them all and they never gave me time to be free enough and to cry.
i never did, and there is no need to.
am blessed with such angel like personality and devine love!!!
lol!!!
tc love ya all




leave your comments.... i'l be glad to hear from your side too

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

this is the post for the most special person of my life.
i wanna apologise and i wanna be dere for u.
i really want  to b...dis blog aint a public way of meltin ur heart jus dat....i wud luv u to allow me to to b d one for u again,.......

Monday, February 23, 2009

brother.... one of the best things in my life!!!

gone,
he left today, back to his office, i got a litttle lucky that i got these extended holidays and my bro could meet me. Down with jaundice i was lucky to spend these three days with him.
though we could not go out this time, but we all knew that these 3 days are the last three days before we four meet and next time there will be one more person in this family.
YES i am happy but feeling like a kid, will the love i got from my brother for so many years will b shared???
Will he still hug me and pat me to sleep???
Will he still be the tenacious bro who used to be with me and correct me in every thing il do???
i love u bro and u know it very well....
u know everything i went through...
u know y i called u here ....
i can't console myself bhaiya... keep loving me....
cus u r one of the very few who still love me the same way...
hav a safe journey and thanx fer the gifts u got me
luv ya bro...

Friday, February 20, 2009

a new beginning

Today a friend just told me to write something on my near death experience.
so here i go...


15 june 2007.

I had my final college practical of second semester. Still remember it was basic civil engineering and i was all blanck in the viva.
Came out. I had borrowed the bike from my roomie who was child hood friend and bhaiya.
Bhaiya got over with his finals a few days back and it was their final semester.
I called him, he told me they are in the movie "jhoom barabar jhoom". Sumit asked me if i can drop him on the way.
since it was raining badly we waited and left after 30 minutes.Talking about the examiner and all he told me to drive fast because next day we had the viva of c++.
Anyways his place was on the same road jus 2 km before my home.
We stopped in between to have paranthas.I loved aloo ka paranthas like anythin and that day don't know why it din't taste well.We ate payed and hit the road again.
i left him at his place.Then i was just 2 mins away from my home where i had an accident.
.
.
.
.
i opened my eyes i saw my mum standing by my side and i closed my eyes again.
next tym i opened my eyes and i felt as if i was being shifted from one bed to another and then it started moving.
i could see the bulbs on and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes when the anesthesiologist asked me some questions like where are you from?.......
next time i opened my eyes again when something pinched my left palm very very badly.
i could easliy make out that something was going inside.
I don't remember much but next time i opened my eyes were when they were shifting me to my room in the hospital from the I.C.U
MUM DAD BRO and a few relatives were there.
i got scared because i thought that they gonna take a run on me for doing this and not wearing an helmet!!!!
But they all were behaving very differently to what i had anticipated.
Anyways the room was awesome.
single room with a refrigerator,an AC a color t.v with cable connection. The white walls were decorated with some paintings which seemed to be old enough to find 
a place in the city museum.
Any ways I examined myself. my left arm was fractured and that was all i thought is damaged in my body.
The door opened and a fella with heavy specks covering half of his face wearing a white overcoat that told me that this guy is a doctor, entered.
Followed by a lady who seemed old but was energetic more than me and a young fellow who was lost somewhere.
Instead of looking at my fractured arm they were gazing at my forehead as if there was a map to eldorado printed there.
then the lady said to the lost fellow pointing her long finger towards my forehead "take it off".
Whoa, the guy bent over my head, took his hand to the back side and unwrapped my new skull which was covered with a bandage about 2 meters in length.
they said turning towards my parents.
we will cut the stuches in a few days.
the moment i heard the door being closed. i asked dad, "papa kahaan kahaan lagi hai mujhe??"
The answer was a long one i'l summarise it for you.
i had a fractured skull, a brain clot, fractured rib, nuckles,collar bone and a vertebral coloumn crushed.

i was on injections and heavy medicines and it took 15 days for me to get fine and doctors told me to go for physiotherapy.
i went there and i realised i could not control the palm of my right hand.
i was sent back to my room. the doctor was back and i was sent for the m.r.i scan immediately. since i was weak i was taken away on a wheel chair.
It was fun lying on the cold tray and being pushed inside the mouth of a huge machine.
told me to close my eyes but i could feel the shades of the light moving over my head.
i came out and the reports were handed to us at the very same moment.
the seriousness of the problem was so much that i was sent bak on a  stretcher.
and was told not to move my neck for 3 days.
the problem was that the C7 coloumn was crushed and was compressing my spinal cord which could get cut if i try to move my neck and that would leave me paralysed for the rest of my life

My college people used to come to the hospital and meet me.And i was in constant touch with the girl i loved at that time and still love.
She was back in jammu and dint know about the accident because my cell was off.
she got to know when one of my very close friend told her.
She used to tell me that u'l fine very soon.
i still love her.
Anyways, after trying a medicine for three days the doctors decided to operate on me.
And i came to know that this was no easy operation the chances of collapsing were there.
30 june i had my operation and i was outside the operation theatre when i told my mum about her.
i just dint want to hide anything from her cause i knew that there are chances that i might not come out of the o.t
Anyways mum was crying, they took me in rolling the stretcher. i entered a big hall. it was like as cold as a cold storage.
the same anesthesiologist was there, he asked me for my name and all and i was unconscious in moments.
i woke uo alone on a bed and made out that it was the i.c.u
i tried to spkeak but i could not.
to operate they slit open my throat and implanted a bone cut from my waist area and covered it with a plate and sealed the skin.
i saw mum coming in i asked for water but i was told that i can't sip or eat anything fer a few days.
2 days later i was shifted to my room.
and in 7 days i started my physiotherapy again.
Now the thing that was bothering me was that i had already missed a practical n 2 final exams were also gone.
If i missed all the 5 exams and a practical, that would be a semester back for me (i won;t b promosted to the next semester!!!).
the next exam was on 7 july, and i missed it too.
Just two exams to go and i still could not sit with my back straight cos i was operated upon my waist and neck.
My girl had her aieee counselling coming close.
we were keeping in touch through text messages i even could not wish her happy b'day. i know how bad and helpless she must be feeling but she was with me, holding my hand and telling me we gonna come out of this very soon.
When she said "we" i just fell in love with her more than anything.
Now it was on me to decide to give the exam or stay back.
I decided that m gonna try.
next morning i told dad he said i better take rest but i was adamant.
Then he had no option to agree he went to my college and then he himself went to the court and all.
He gave in his 100% and arranged a writer for me and all the formalities.
12 morning i left for the exam in the ambulance.
indore roads are less roads more potholes i pained me badly.
chirayu who was my writer was a very helpful guy.
it was basic mechanical engg.
i sat down saw the exam n we started.
after 2hours 30 minutes i gave up.
the pain was at its peak and we had already attempted somewhere around 80% or the paper.
we came out, i discussed my answers with bhaiya and we were sure that m gonna clear this exam.
i reached back, moment i sat down on the wheel chair i got a call from her. i was talking to her and they rolled my chair to the god's idol. she gave me the good news, that i have been wishing for 6 months.
i went to my doctor and was delighted.
I was shifted on my bed.
that lost fellow came in and he cut my stiches.
and next day i was discharged with a bedrest advised for 2 months.
everyone was saying if we are so sure for this exam lets not give the next one. Dunno y i din't agree and gave the next exam too.
WE left for home on 16 morning.
On 16 she left from jammu for her college and we kept messaging throughout the journey.
17 night we reched jammu.
it was midnight, there were so many people who had come to recieve me.
3 different cars were there.
i reached back outside my home , there were neighbours....
i went in and slept when everybody had left.
A few minor operations followed she came back home for 3 days to meet me.
friends came over.
everyone was so supporting...
Even now my right palm is not fine i have developed a new way of holding a pen to write, i have started using my left hand like for eating holding stuff.
i accepted whatever happened and din't cry in front of anyone.
but alone i still cry.
not for what i have lost, but for what i have gained.
life can change in moments.
it did for me too.
AND about that accident, i have now memory ,i don't remember anything, i even couldnot recognise my best friend and many relatives.when i opened my eyes for the first time it had already been 24 hours of i'd say sound sleep....
people say that i was hit by a tempo and slammed head on into the divider.some say i was not touched cause dey thought i was already dead and got to know that i am alive cos they found my heart beating.

PS: i flunked in the exam that we were too sure to clear and managed to clear the next exam.
no advice or golden words for anyone just one thing
WEAR A HELMET!!!
luv u all ... luv u too

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

relations i live on

aaj kaafi din ho gaye hain....
kabhi kabhi jus baithe hue aisa lagta hai ki hum apni zindagi mein kitni galtiyaan karte hain and kabhi khud realise bhi nai karte.
WE move on lekin jis jis ko hamari galtiyon se prob hui  hooti hai unke baare mein hum kabhi sochte bhi nai.
maine bhi aisa hi kiya hai.
pata nai kitno to hurt karte hue main aage badta gaya...
n i never realised k main kya kya karte karte rehta tha.
koi cheez agar apko buri lagti hai toh zaroori nai hai ki woh galat hi ho...
mujhe aaj  bhi bahut sari cheees buri lagti hain....lekin to solution is not k ab main unko pakad ke sochte rahoon.
solution is k main us chees ko dubaara dekhoon hi nahin jo mujhe buri lagti hai.
maturity is the key of solving all the problems.
pata nai main mature hoon ya nai lekin haan i've learnt  a lot.
kuch bahut achche dost peeche reh gaye.
kuch ka saath choot gaya.
bahut chotta tha tab siddharth hota tha mera friend.
he used to live nearby.
ek toffee ke upar hum lad baithe or kabhi baat nai ki.
lekin aaj bhi mujhe sab yaad hai.
sochta hoon kabhi mil jaaye toh gale laga loon.
lekin na toh woh mujhe shakal e pehchaan paega na main.
aise hi ek or friend hai...
zindagi main they say move on...
i think i can never forget my friends or the one i love.
....

 
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