unforgettable journeys

28 August 2006
9:00 AM

As the engine whistled, I got in the train. My mom and my dad didn’t. They were at the platform and they were not travelling with me. I hadn’t stayed away from my family for more than two days. This time we knew it will be long. I was leaving for my college. My mom knew that this is something which is necessary, but , it was hard for her to come to the fact that I won’t be around. I was least interested to go. I was not interested to join my college. I was not looking forward to the hostel life or anything. I just didn’t want to leave. As the train moved I saw a drop of tear rolling down her cheek, which was way too far for me to wipe it off. As if I skipped a heartbeat. I came to the fact about how tough it’s going to be. The train moved on and she was out of my sight soon, my tears which were hiding from my mother made their presence felt as soon as my train left the platform.

16th July 2007
11:30 PM

I was in the train with Mom and Dad. Two of my friends who were also in Indore with me, accompanied us. The pain in my shoulder and arm was getting out of control, but compared to the what pain I got a month back, this was actually nothing. So, I reached the door and I stopped for a moment to take a look around. There were around 10 people standing down waiting for me to get down. My Dad helped me to get down and I declined the wheel chair. I decided that I can walk to the car. I was overwhelmed and surprised. As I stepped down, there was this feeling of being home. Jammu. I thought that finally it’s all over and I have made it home, safe and alive. I controlled my tears because I did not want anyone their to lose their enthusiasm. The car stopped in front of my house it was almost midnight but everyone was standing out waiting to see if I was fine. My friends and neighbors. I took a step and there she was standing. My aunt, very close to our family. I hugged her and that’s when I could not control my emotions. I was not sad, I was just happy to make it.

21 June 2010
4:30 PM

I was at the railway station again. This time I was not alone. It was me along with my roommate from Delhi and two friends who had come to see us off. College got over and this was it, we were leaving. There were no tears, just promises to keep in touch and yearly meets. The train moved and we got inside. I was going home. I was unemployed so the happiness of being home was compromised. I was making plans of getting enrolled in some course which will also give me a job later on. I reached Delhi. Me and my friend said good bye. I reached home and called my friend who had come to see me off. Moments later my brother walked in, back from office.

12 October 2010
11:30 PM

I was at the Delhi airport. As happy as I can be. I was going home, with a job and the best part was that I would be spending nothing less than two months “being home”. I was texting all my friends, I called my Mom about what I wanted for lunch , I put in my earplugs and put on some RnB. I reached home. Today it has been almost 1 and a half month. I have got used to being home again. I feel the same way I felt when I was in school. I know that I have to leave soon, again, for a long time, this time it will be longer than ever before. I know that time my Mom and Dad will come to see me off. I know that I will again hold my tears until they are out of sight. I know that I’ll not be ok.

Muddle Headed, as always

While sitting on the couch and resting my bums and sipping some tea, while soaking some vitamin D, I was in deep thoughts.
It was no hot model bombshell. Not about anyone doing me wrong. No apologies. No nostalgia. It was about how procrastinating I have become, and I think I am not the only one. We can make a wolf pack and then keep on delaying our jobs together. At least I won't feel guilty after that, cos i know everyone is being an ass. I delay everything and the only reason that is good enough is that may be i have lost my seriousness about issues which ought to be dealt with a little more seriousness than the seriousness i deal them with. I usually waste my time talking to people or downloading torrents or writing some silly rhymes, which are of no good. But still i can't find myself motivated enough to take the very first step towards the goal. Well yes there is this thing that I am a good goal setter. When I look back after that, I realise that I set some goals and forgot about them. There has to be a way for me to start getting serious about my stuff. It's high time. The worst part is that to delay a job i come up with cockamamie reasons. I just end up discombobulating myself. There are always two outcomes when I delay something.
1) The job never gets done, hence, M a loser
2) The job gets done at the very last moment, M still a (you know what, right?)
I don't find the will to get off the bed, stop the movie or whatever I find comfort in and exert my brain in some coding or software engineering stuff.
Sounds lame because, I am going to be a part of a software company very soon.
God, I wish i did not have tha rinky-dink piece of nerve fibres stuffed inside my skull.