a new beginning part II

befor starting with this post, you should read this post This is a continuation to the post linked.

lol!!! suhaas dis one is for u but m straight dude!!!

i don't know how to tell u all d details that happened with me...

even i don't remember much.

i get revived many times but to put in words is i guess way beyong my potential as i dont think m  very good with words.

i got back on 16th of july at around 11:30 pm.

There was this family in the same compartment who boarded the train from jhansi.

I was sitting in the train and looking outside.People were moving here and there. Chaos all around, it was my turn , i walked to the gate,dad following me and holdin my elbow.

I was at the gate and what was in front of me made me feel very special.

There were so many people who had come to the railway station in the middle of the night. I felt so special that my eyes were filled with the dew of gratitude and thankfulness.

i got down people around, 3 cars were there to pic 5 people who had come from a month of seeing and handling one of the most unexpected and harrowing situation.

i sat in a car and it was of my own volition.

Sittin in the front seat uncle did ask me about how m i feeling an all.

By this time i had become a prodigy in handling questions like these. Like they say, practice makes you perfect.

At Around midnight we got back and they parked the car in front of my house.

I got down and there were all my friends and neighbours waiting for me.

I could not control, i cried for the first time after my accident.

I everyone was there and my tears were just the only way i could potray my gratitude towards all those who cared to be there.

I went in, lied down on the bed, my friends stayed back for sometime and left.

I messaged her that I am fine and reached safely and went to sleep.

Those were the hard days to sleep. My left collar bone was fractured and my left hand was plastered.So, there was only one position in which i could sleep.

Next day a friend called me and told me that he has postponed his depature by one week. And later i came to know that he will be paying the late fees for registration cos he is going back late.

This was the time when all four of us were there in jammu. Me, deepak, shashwat, and ishan.

My right palm was paralised and my friends used to come, hold my hand and move my fingers, because that was advised by the doctors. keep moving your fingers, lol!!!.

Deepak ishan used to mock at me with some of the adult jokes that any boy can understand!!! I used to be on the bed all day long but these people used to make me feel special everyday.

I used to keep constant touch with her, she told me that she will be coming back for three days, and i knew why she is coming back.

Anyways she came to my home to see me. I was more than happy. And i could see the tears in her eyes that were forced to stay in because she was with her mother and i was with my mother.

they stayed back for 30 minutes and when she left we shook hands, just din't want to leave her hand but had to.

her mum was walink behind her mom was mine n she was the third one, she streched her hand backwards n i held her hand for 5 seconds and that way told eachother that how much we love and how much we care.

She went away.

deepak came in the evening and i told him.

he was happy because i was happy.

I wanted to see her again and i wanted to have a pizza too. Told deepak about both of my demands.

Next day at around 3 pm, deepak ishan and shashwat came and with a car.

I was lying down.

Deepak got the permission from my mum and dressed me up.

I sent her a textmsg n we were on our way, undoubtly deepak was driving very carefully.

We stopped jus a block before her house and she saw me from her veranda.

we had to move and we did.

reached the pizza place and odered. i got a call it was her.

" where are u? "

" i am at smokin joes!! y?? "

" i am coming there just want to meet you "

" are you really??? "

" ya baba just wait for me ok!! "

" hmmm i will , ajao "

few minutes after we met talked and she went.

i was back with my friends eating and i could not use my hands so deepak cut the pizza for me and shashwat n ishan were stuffing my mouth.

funny but touching.

ALL THESE PEOPLE LEFT FOR THEIR COLLEGES.

and were in constant touch with me.

Many people used to come and meet me.

Dad arranged a party for me surviving combined with his birthday party.

I found what it means to have goood friends.

i found what it means to b loved.

I love them all and they never gave me time to be free enough and to cry.

i never did, and there is no need to.

am blessed with such angel like personality and devine love!!!

lol!!!

tc love ya all

leave your comments.... i'l be glad to hear from your side too

this is the post for the most special person of my life.

i wanna apologise and i wanna be dere for u.

i really want  to b...dis blog aint a public way of meltin ur heart jus dat....i wud luv u to allow me to to b d one for u again,.......

brother.... one of the best things in my life!!!

gone,

he left today, back to his office, i got a litttle lucky that i got these extended holidays and my bro could meet me. Down with jaundice i was lucky to spend these three days with him.

though we could not go out this time, but we all knew that these 3 days are the last three days before we four meet and next time there will be one more person in this family.

YES i am happy but feeling like a kid, will the love i got from my brother for so many years will b shared???

Will he still hug me and pat me to sleep???

Will he still be the tenacious bro who used to be with me and correct me in every thing il do???

i love u bro and u know it very well....

u know everything i went through...

u know y i called u here ....

i can't console myself bhaiya... keep loving me....

cus u r one of the very few who still love me the same way...

hav a safe journey and thanx fer the gifts u got me

luv ya bro...

a new beginning

Today a friend just told me to write something on my near death experience.

so here i go...

15 june 2007.

I had my final college practical of second semester. Still remember it was basic civil engineering and i was all blanck in the viva.

Came out. I had borrowed the bike from my roomie who was child hood friend and bhaiya.

Bhaiya got over with his finals a few days back and it was their final semester.

I called him, he told me they are in the movie "jhoom barabar jhoom". Sumit asked me if i can drop him on the way.

since it was raining badly we waited and left after 30 minutes.Talking about the examiner and all he told me to drive fast because next day we had the viva of c++.

Anyways his place was on the same road jus 2 km before my home.

We stopped in between to have paranthas.I loved aloo ka paranthas like anythin and that day don't know why it din't taste well.We ate payed and hit the road again.

i left him at his place.Then i was just 2 mins away from my home where i had an accident.

.

.

.

.

i opened my eyes i saw my mum standing by my side and i closed my eyes again.

next tym i opened my eyes and i felt as if i was being shifted from one bed to another and then it started moving.

i could see the bulbs on and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes when the anesthesiologist asked me some questions like where are you from?.......

next time i opened my eyes again when something pinched my left palm very very badly.

i could easliy make out that something was going inside.

I don't remember much but next time i opened my eyes were when they were shifting me to my room in the hospital from the I.C.U

MUM DAD BRO and a few relatives were there.

i got scared because i thought that they gonna take a run on me for doing this and not wearing an helmet!!!!

But they all were behaving very differently to what i had anticipated.

Anyways the room was awesome.

single room with a refrigerator,an AC a color t.v with cable connection. The white walls were decorated with some paintings which seemed to be old enough to find 

a place in the city museum.

Any ways I examined myself. my left arm was fractured and that was all i thought is damaged in my body.

The door opened and a fella with heavy specks covering half of his face wearing a white overcoat that told me that this guy is a doctor, entered.

Followed by a lady who seemed old but was energetic more than me and a young fellow who was lost somewhere.

Instead of looking at my fractured arm they were gazing at my forehead as if there was a map to eldorado printed there.

then the lady said to the lost fellow pointing her long finger towards my forehead "take it off".

Whoa, the guy bent over my head, took his hand to the back side and unwrapped my new skull which was covered with a bandage about 2 meters in length.

they said turning towards my parents.

we will cut the stuches in a few days.

the moment i heard the door being closed. i asked dad, "papa kahaan kahaan lagi hai mujhe??"

The answer was a long one i'l summarise it for you.

i had a fractured skull, a brain clot, fractured rib, nuckles,collar bone and a vertebral coloumn crushed.

i was on injections and heavy medicines and it took 15 days for me to get fine and doctors told me to go for physiotherapy.

i went there and i realised i could not control the palm of my right hand.

i was sent back to my room. the doctor was back and i was sent for the m.r.i scan immediately. since i was weak i was taken away on a wheel chair.

It was fun lying on the cold tray and being pushed inside the mouth of a huge machine.

told me to close my eyes but i could feel the shades of the light moving over my head.

i came out and the reports were handed to us at the very same moment.

the seriousness of the problem was so much that i was sent bak on a  stretcher.

and was told not to move my neck for 3 days.

the problem was that the C7 coloumn was crushed and was compressing my spinal cord which could get cut if i try to move my neck and that would leave me paralysed for the rest of my life

My college people used to come to the hospital and meet me.And i was in constant touch with the girl i loved at that time and still love.

She was back in jammu and dint know about the accident because my cell was off.

she got to know when one of my very close friend told her.

She used to tell me that u'l fine very soon.

i still love her.

Anyways, after trying a medicine for three days the doctors decided to operate on me.

And i came to know that this was no easy operation the chances of collapsing were there.

30 june i had my operation and i was outside the operation theatre when i told my mum about her.

i just dint want to hide anything from her cause i knew that there are chances that i might not come out of the o.t

Anyways mum was crying, they took me in rolling the stretcher. i entered a big hall. it was like as cold as a cold storage.

the same anesthesiologist was there, he asked me for my name and all and i was unconscious in moments.

i woke uo alone on a bed and made out that it was the i.c.u

i tried to spkeak but i could not.

to operate they slit open my throat and implanted a bone cut from my waist area and covered it with a plate and sealed the skin.

i saw mum coming in i asked for water but i was told that i can't sip or eat anything fer a few days.

2 days later i was shifted to my room.

and in 7 days i started my physiotherapy again.

Now the thing that was bothering me was that i had already missed a practical n 2 final exams were also gone.

If i missed all the 5 exams and a practical, that would be a semester back for me (i won;t b promosted to the next semester!!!).

the next exam was on 7 july, and i missed it too.

Just two exams to go and i still could not sit with my back straight cos i was operated upon my waist and neck.

My girl had her aieee counselling coming close.

we were keeping in touch through text messages i even could not wish her happy b'day. i know how bad and helpless she must be feeling but she was with me, holding my hand and telling me we gonna come out of this very soon.

When she said "we" i just fell in love with her more than anything.

Now it was on me to decide to give the exam or stay back.

I decided that m gonna try.

next morning i told dad he said i better take rest but i was adamant.

Then he had no option to agree he went to my college and then he himself went to the court and all.

He gave in his 100% and arranged a writer for me and all the formalities.

12 morning i left for the exam in the ambulance.

indore roads are less roads more potholes i pained me badly.

chirayu who was my writer was a very helpful guy.

it was basic mechanical engg.

i sat down saw the exam n we started.

after 2hours 30 minutes i gave up.

the pain was at its peak and we had already attempted somewhere around 80% or the paper.

we came out, i discussed my answers with bhaiya and we were sure that m gonna clear this exam.

i reached back, moment i sat down on the wheel chair i got a call from her. i was talking to her and they rolled my chair to the god's idol. she gave me the good news, that i have been wishing for 6 months.

i went to my doctor and was delighted.

I was shifted on my bed.

that lost fellow came in and he cut my stiches.

and next day i was discharged with a bedrest advised for 2 months.

everyone was saying if we are so sure for this exam lets not give the next one. Dunno y i din't agree and gave the next exam too.

WE left for home on 16 morning.

On 16 she left from jammu for her college and we kept messaging throughout the journey.

17 night we reched jammu.

it was midnight, there were so many people who had come to recieve me.

3 different cars were there.

i reached back outside my home , there were neighbours....

i went in and slept when everybody had left.

A few minor operations followed she came back home for 3 days to meet me.

friends came over.

everyone was so supporting...

Even now my right palm is not fine i have developed a new way of holding a pen to write, i have started using my left hand like for eating holding stuff.

i accepted whatever happened and din't cry in front of anyone.

but alone i still cry.

not for what i have lost, but for what i have gained.

life can change in moments.

it did for me too.

AND about that accident, i have now memory ,i don't remember anything, i even couldnot recognise my best friend and many relatives.when i opened my eyes for the first time it had already been 24 hours of i'd say sound sleep....

people say that i was hit by a tempo and slammed head on into the divider.some say i was not touched cause dey thought i was already dead and got to know that i am alive cos they found my heart beating.

PS: i flunked in the exam that we were too sure to clear and managed to clear the next exam.

no advice or golden words for anyone just one thing

WEAR A HELMET!!!

luv u all ... luv u too

relations i live on

aaj kaafi din ho gaye hain....

kabhi kabhi jus baithe hue aisa lagta hai ki hum apni zindagi mein kitni galtiyaan karte hain and kabhi khud realise bhi nai karte.

WE move on lekin jis jis ko hamari galtiyon se prob hui  hooti hai unke baare mein hum kabhi sochte bhi nai.

maine bhi aisa hi kiya hai.

pata nai kitno to hurt karte hue main aage badta gaya...

n i never realised k main kya kya karte karte rehta tha.

koi cheez agar apko buri lagti hai toh zaroori nai hai ki woh galat hi ho...

mujhe aaj  bhi bahut sari cheees buri lagti hain....lekin to solution is not k ab main unko pakad ke sochte rahoon.

solution is k main us chees ko dubaara dekhoon hi nahin jo mujhe buri lagti hai.

maturity is the key of solving all the problems.

pata nai main mature hoon ya nai lekin haan i've learnt  a lot.

kuch bahut achche dost peeche reh gaye.

kuch ka saath choot gaya.

bahut chotta tha tab siddharth hota tha mera friend.

he used to live nearby.

ek toffee ke upar hum lad baithe or kabhi baat nai ki.

lekin aaj bhi mujhe sab yaad hai.

sochta hoon kabhi mil jaaye toh gale laga loon.

lekin na toh woh mujhe shakal e pehchaan paega na main.

aise hi ek or friend hai...

zindagi main they say move on...

i think i can never forget my friends or the one i love.

....

the best valentine i had....

this journey back home was very different.

Now m on my way back, reminscing the trip.

my brother lives in delhi and dad was out on office tour.

This trip was from 25 to 11 of feb. but streched due to an untimely malady.

I was on bedrest again (refer to post with topic "thank yous").

My friends came over from indore as it was scheduled.

I could not spend much time with them, cause i was diagnosed on the day they arrived.

A beautiful, lovely soul left us for the abode that was chosen for her.

This was the first time in my life when i had someone going away for ever. And two of my very good friends crying endlessly.

One cried because of me and other one in front of me.

This was the time when i myself used to be on the bed for the complete day and numerous thoughts used to flood my mind.

my room was on the first floor and i used to cry all alone. And as if it was destined, my mum came up and asked me the reason.

Deepak always used to tell me that share it with someone.

And i thought that who else rather than my mother.

we talked till 2 in the morning.told her everything that went wrong wid me. how many times i cried alone ,how many times i cut myself.how i had a relation and how it effects me now.

how i silently killed myself and still trying my level best to make things allright untill oneday i couldnot find my innerself n peace.

she hugged me n cried with me too.

i cried like a kid, and slept.

and when i got up. I picked up the phone to call someone.

I stopped and went to my mum.

hugged her n said thanx.

now i know she is the one who will accept me the way i am even if i am the worst son on the earth she will never stop talkin to me.

i found my best friend in her.

n i still cry. but wen i hug her.

cause it reminds me of someone else's hug

my friends came over to meet me.

one of them was sittin right next to my bed.

she said "u r one of the people who never cry even when they are in such bad conditions"

read dis ad...i have cried alone...and silently.

when u r in love with loyalty n give everything in to the relation it's hard when it breaks.

i don't know if i am single or committed.

but 

all i know is dat i am something.

dreams depend on me

n its my job to do what they want from me.

luv u all who love me.

n dis valentines was such an awesome day

cos i opened my heart to my mum fearin dat she might shout of what i have been doing to my body n life but she hugged me n i sweared i wont repeat it.

luv u mum

ur d best.

n dats my mum