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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

from deep inside

It’s sometime very hard to express what you feel.

Something inside your heart takes a lot to travel the path from heart to mouth.

It’s the same case with me. I feel a lot for different people but it’s not easy for me to express it. My behaviour has caused me to break my relations and at the same time to strengthen some too. I have many drafts saved which were started when I wanted to thank someone who did something good, but then, like now and forever they will be just drafts. There is a story that revolves around surbhit saxena. The story that changes everyday. Some actors stay in this, some leave soon, and some become an integral part of this fiction scripted by his almighty.

I being the centre point of the story want to say so much but my scriptwriter didn’t give me that power to express what is in my heart. I feel so helpless sometimes. I love but I can’t express my love, I care but can’t show you how much I care. Sometimes everything diminishes into a single word that reads “loser”, and at that moment there comes a hand from behind me, telling me not to give up, to get up and fight back and win what is destined to be mine. I want to say thank you to this hand but then again I can’t.

I get a hug and I want to make it last forever, the hug is about to end but I don’t want it to end, my mind asks me if there is anyway that I can stay in these arms forever and again I can’t answer. I miss someone and I want to call but I can’t call, I don’t want to disturb anyone, I don’t want to be the reason of pain for anyone. My life takes a new turn every moment. I keep accepting things until one day I give up. I say I quit and again an inspiration crosses me. I get up and fight back again, and I fail, I fall.

Then I find two people standing by my side to pick me up and put me up on my feet and give me the strength to walk this road again and live my script.

I have so much inside me. Don’t know when I will be able to let it out and tell the ones I love. Tell them what is inside my heart for them.

5 comments:

vandy said...

hmmmmmmm
happens with everyone

u just have to gather that courage to speak ur heart out
and life changes :)

funkyrave said...

Dont worry mate!!.. The guy above there is an excellent script writer, and its not necessary to express every time, sometimes the beauty lies in the unsaid things..! So dont bother much.. Just do well in scene and dance to its tune, life will be a blockbuster! :-)

SEPO said...

hmm true, but the amazing thing is that sometimes ( if ur lucky) you get people, who apart from understanding your words, understand your silence too..!

Unknown said...

yeeps!!! .... at times silence speaks more than words can....

and no one is a loser if he or she is not able to xpress wat they feel.

shazone said...

how strange.... u want to express that love and care and when u dont, it makes u sad and i have done exactly the opposite through out my life and still it leaves me bruised too.... i think v can never find the perfect balance, life is meant to be lived on extremes.

 
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