lose yourself

Hi :)
Year 2011 is gone. For everyone who used to follow my blog I have not updated my blog since April 2011. I am glad if you missed my writing. If you din't then I am sorry I have started writing again.(Pun intended)
Not that i did not have anything to write on but i just lost the will to express. Things changed as I moved to Chennai and were beyond my control until December 2011.

Perhaps the worst phase was waiting for me. For those who know and have been with me through the tough time in 2007, this was even worst.
I have never experienced any conspiracy set up against me. I have never been the eye of any hurricane. I have had many people around me but at one time when I needed somebody to talk and share what all I was going through. I had nobody.

I have spent hours sitting on the footpath, because I dint want anyone to be around. I so much started enjoying my loneliness and this became a daily schedule. Get free from office, ride to some place where silence is waiting for me to come. Was it me or the pressure that was driving is still unknown. Lessons learnt the hard way are never forgotten and so I learnt the hard way too. Since I have left Chennai, I know many people, I don’t want to name, who were very close to me now cant stop bitching about me. Why? Because, I managed a transfer. My only answer to you if you are reading is that the you can never do what I did. Not because you are not capable but because you spend your energy in bitching rather than planning.
Anyway, more words for you would be injustice to the rest of the so many important things that happened to me in the last 8 months.
I am in Bangalore now, and everything seems to be getting back to normal. Of course scars never go, but still I have moved on over what has happened to me. I have certainly hurt a few people in the process and they know I am sincerely sorry. I wish one day I am able to put things back in place for them. I have started freaking out again and I have started to be the way I was. Life looks beautiful as of now and I know it will change for sure. I miss Indore and the fun I had with a friend who would play guitar and we all would sing. Friends in Bangalore are too busy in their own personal lives and its understandable. So, Since everyone is busy with what makes them happy. I should also start writing again. It makes me happy. M sure though, the reader would be having different thoughts on that.
Happy New Year.
Thanks for reading.
Please leave a comment.
Love and regards
Surbhit