unforgettable journeys

28 August 2006
9:00 AM

As the engine whistled, I got in the train. My mom and my dad didn’t. They were at the platform and they were not travelling with me. I hadn’t stayed away from my family for more than two days. This time we knew it will be long. I was leaving for my college. My mom knew that this is something which is necessary, but , it was hard for her to come to the fact that I won’t be around. I was least interested to go. I was not interested to join my college. I was not looking forward to the hostel life or anything. I just didn’t want to leave. As the train moved I saw a drop of tear rolling down her cheek, which was way too far for me to wipe it off. As if I skipped a heartbeat. I came to the fact about how tough it’s going to be. The train moved on and she was out of my sight soon, my tears which were hiding from my mother made their presence felt as soon as my train left the platform.

16th July 2007
11:30 PM

I was in the train with Mom and Dad. Two of my friends who were also in Indore with me, accompanied us. The pain in my shoulder and arm was getting out of control, but compared to the what pain I got a month back, this was actually nothing. So, I reached the door and I stopped for a moment to take a look around. There were around 10 people standing down waiting for me to get down. My Dad helped me to get down and I declined the wheel chair. I decided that I can walk to the car. I was overwhelmed and surprised. As I stepped down, there was this feeling of being home. Jammu. I thought that finally it’s all over and I have made it home, safe and alive. I controlled my tears because I did not want anyone their to lose their enthusiasm. The car stopped in front of my house it was almost midnight but everyone was standing out waiting to see if I was fine. My friends and neighbors. I took a step and there she was standing. My aunt, very close to our family. I hugged her and that’s when I could not control my emotions. I was not sad, I was just happy to make it.

21 June 2010
4:30 PM

I was at the railway station again. This time I was not alone. It was me along with my roommate from Delhi and two friends who had come to see us off. College got over and this was it, we were leaving. There were no tears, just promises to keep in touch and yearly meets. The train moved and we got inside. I was going home. I was unemployed so the happiness of being home was compromised. I was making plans of getting enrolled in some course which will also give me a job later on. I reached Delhi. Me and my friend said good bye. I reached home and called my friend who had come to see me off. Moments later my brother walked in, back from office.

12 October 2010
11:30 PM

I was at the Delhi airport. As happy as I can be. I was going home, with a job and the best part was that I would be spending nothing less than two months “being home”. I was texting all my friends, I called my Mom about what I wanted for lunch , I put in my earplugs and put on some RnB. I reached home. Today it has been almost 1 and a half month. I have got used to being home again. I feel the same way I felt when I was in school. I know that I have to leave soon, again, for a long time, this time it will be longer than ever before. I know that time my Mom and Dad will come to see me off. I know that I will again hold my tears until they are out of sight. I know that I’ll not be ok.

Muddle Headed, as always

While sitting on the couch and resting my bums and sipping some tea, while soaking some vitamin D, I was in deep thoughts.
It was no hot model bombshell. Not about anyone doing me wrong. No apologies. No nostalgia. It was about how procrastinating I have become, and I think I am not the only one. We can make a wolf pack and then keep on delaying our jobs together. At least I won't feel guilty after that, cos i know everyone is being an ass. I delay everything and the only reason that is good enough is that may be i have lost my seriousness about issues which ought to be dealt with a little more seriousness than the seriousness i deal them with. I usually waste my time talking to people or downloading torrents or writing some silly rhymes, which are of no good. But still i can't find myself motivated enough to take the very first step towards the goal. Well yes there is this thing that I am a good goal setter. When I look back after that, I realise that I set some goals and forgot about them. There has to be a way for me to start getting serious about my stuff. It's high time. The worst part is that to delay a job i come up with cockamamie reasons. I just end up discombobulating myself. There are always two outcomes when I delay something.
1) The job never gets done, hence, M a loser
2) The job gets done at the very last moment, M still a (you know what, right?)
I don't find the will to get off the bed, stop the movie or whatever I find comfort in and exert my brain in some coding or software engineering stuff.
Sounds lame because, I am going to be a part of a software company very soon.
God, I wish i did not have tha rinky-dink piece of nerve fibres stuffed inside my skull.

#25

Like the sky
and the water
we're so far away, from eachother

like the mountain
and the ocean
we're so far away, fom eachother


there has to be a place
has to be a way
so that tonyt i can make u stay

baby thats the way
u n me
we r gonna be together always
m gonna hold u now
m gonna tell u how
how we are gonna be together always


like a child
to his mother
m gonna keep u in my heart forever

like the moon
calls the water
m gonna come to u like that forever



girl ur a gem
which m not gonna trade
girl u r a card
which m not gonna play
girl u r a memory
which will never fade


baby thats the way
u n me
we r gonna be together always
m gonna hold u now
m gonna tell u how
how we are gonna be together always

untitled :)

To get to the top, you have to work your way from the people who don’t have and will never have the brains to understand what it takes to be on the top.
When I decided and rather started with my blog no body encouraged me.
When my friend decided to send a new theory instead of a model to IISc. No one encouraged him.
When my another friend showed interest in photography, people gave him hard looks.
The secret of success is not in C or HTML. The secret of success is no where inside the box of derivatives and integrals, nor it is buried under the layers of chemicals. The secret of success is in your heart.
What you feel you are destined to do, just take a shot at it. Fight the world and fight for your dream.
I have a friend who is making it big in his town with his videos posted all over youtube.
That’s the way you should decide about your life. That’s the way you should go. Not everyone is an engineer material. So everyone who reads this, just let your heart talk to you when you carve the path of your life. If you have already done that, than make sure you don’t force your influence on someone. One should do what he or she thinks is the best suited for him.
That might not be easy, the teething trouble is usually tougher than most of us can handle, the financial security is often missing in these trades. Everything looks so ugly when you think about it, but when you look at what you get after you succeed, you just let go of all these reasons.
They say, to be the star, you have to reach the stars.
You might expect support from your family, your parents. Does that really matter? I don’t think so.
Families are temporary; in fact everything is just so volatile in this world.
Today you live with your parents; tomorrow you will live with your kids. Your mom and dad will leave for the better half of the life, and you’ll get used to the fact that they are not there. Everyday and every second of your life, it will be only you who’ll be held responsible to what is happening to you. Nor parents, neither kids.
It is and will always be you for yourself. So make it big.
Live your dreams. :)

PS: i could not come up with any good title :P

lost and found

When i was in bangalore i met my friend after 17 years, we kept in touch through facebook and orkut and hi5 but we met after 17 years. Now yesterday only i had a talk with a friend who was one of the closest people around me in my school. With time things changed and she moved to a new town and we lost touch.
I had so much to talk about and tell her. so many people to shit about. But the best thing was that we were friends again after clearing all the misunderstandings.
One of the most special thing of friends is that no matter after how long you talk, you talk as the way you used to.
I have lost some friends in college, who were very dear to me at one time but than with time things changed, i came to know some stuff which i never wanted to. When i find some of my friends from school and we talk again i think that may be one day these college friends will also come back,
A make friends easily and lose them easily too. Recently i deleted around 200 people from facebook. Don't want them to take this as a wrong gesture, but they would stay online for hours and still no hi or hello.... just to add them in fb cus we were frnds at one time, i don't want to keep mannequins in my friend list........
as of now m happy with all i got ..... :) too happy :)
happy to have u again my friend :)

10 things that a boy's hostel blesses you with

So this idea struck me when i was home, awake at 10 am, and was getting bored. Its really not easy for a guy to get cool with the discipline that his parents (read mom) try to inculcate him.
Anyways so i thought why not come up with the stuff that you can do in hostel but not at home and while i was discussing this with a friend, she told me that the list would be endless. So here i am, giving top ten points that i think effect you the most when you get back home.

10) you cant come home totally drunk with two guys helping you walk
9) you can't get up at 2pm/ sleep at 2 am ;P
8) you can't talk to your girl all night long
7) you can't invite your friends to play teen patti and shout when you lose
6) you can't spend 10 days without bath.
5) you can't smoke in your home
4) you can't stay unshaved for 10 days(this might be different for some)
3) you can't use BC MC or F**k while talking at home, in hostel these are like the most used words
2) You can't fart in the room :)
1) you cant watch porn with speakers on :) :D

unemployed writer

24th july 2010
1st company.
H.p r&d.
Horrible written exam. Dint clear. Went at 7 am got back at 5 pm. When will be my day
Damn tired, laters

26 july 10
got a fake call from emc2. Got up early n went there to get nothing. Then went to tesco, dint allow me to sit in the written test.
Now preparing for the "ph test". Exam on 1st. Laters

28 july,
3 days more. Exam on first, it feels good . Gaurav n harry n me. Spending a good time here. N enjoin too. We do give a good time to studies too. Anyways. Gotta go n solve apti nw. Laters

31 july 2010.
Can't sleep. Got an interview on monday. Missin mom n dad badly. Just feel like going home. But i won't. I'l go home only once m employed. Missin home badly.
May be thats d reason y my eyes r wet. Shud sleep. Gotta study 2mrw. Gnyyt. Later
PS:HAPY BDAY may u get al d hapines in d world:)

1 aug 2010.
First sunday of august, happy friendships day. The sound of Church bells is filling my ears and making me exuberant, cus m standing right in front of d xam centre. 8:30 am, d xam starts at 9:30. 4 crazy girls loaded in a jetta just drove by shouting, all the best.... Fun for them n heres my ass is on fire. Need just 70% n things wil get set...
So many students around. ... Out nw . Goin in. Laters

9 august
2 am.
Dint get 70% just got 66%. TCS xam on 14. Almost done with quant, now time for technical and verbal. By 3pm i'll wind up analytical too.
Gotta get up at 8. Hope i make it to tcs.
Gnyt.

14 aug
8:00 am
In the bus, on my way to the TCS xam centre. I am prepared, and hell nervous. The exam centre is miles away. I'll have to change buses to get there. 2 hours journey. Whats to come?

14 august
11:50 pm
so this was it, written, tech cleared. HR was fun, but d final result will b sent via email.
Anyways m waiting. May be d best gift for dad is here to arrive... Goin to sleep. Gnyt

16 august
11:50pm
time is running too slow. I haven't yet recieved the email from TCS. I must have checked my inbox more than a hundred times. Whats in the store for me? Is this post going to end.? Whats coming up?
How long?

21 august 2010
4:45 pm
happy birth day dad.
I am with a person who has been like an elder brother to me. In this alien city, he has been d one i can run too.
Makes me smile. N ya about TCS. Results will b announced after 30 days.
Chiken is here. Later

7th sep.
Happy bday harry.
This is d last day. Kal might be result will b announced. Dnt knw. Wats to come.

10 sep.
12:30 am
just got the news. Results have been announced for some batches. They are sending the mail in both the cases. So lets see. Probably a day or two more. Hope lives. G.n laters

13 sep '10
3:45 am
my bday is coming. God will u send me a gift?
U knw wat i want.
Don't u.
Later.

15 sep 2010.
3 am
Two months coming to an end, no job as yet.
Missing someone.
:-)
laters

17 sep '10
2 pm
life can sometimes put u in situations which totally tear u apart. M in such one condition.
:-(

22 sep' 10
2 am
it was a tough day to begin with. my friend got a call from the company n my inbox was still empty. i got the mail one hour later and that one hour was like a lifetym. i dont know what to do now, m feeling a bit weird, now that i was waiting for something, the wait is over. Now what.
atleast people who were concerned where really happy. :)
thanx all

who i am?

I have so much to write about and right now I am so high on emtions that I think this post will never be ending.

The only thing that will stop me if I cry and let off these emotions stored inside my head and heart for so many days

It dates back to 20 june 2010.

I was with my friend, who had a bus to catch at 3:00 PM

So we decided to hangout all day long. The time was running at the speed of like I just wished that I could stop it, make the seconds’ hand go back….

Anything like that was no way near to be possible and I was driving my wy back to my home at 3:05 PM.

I was not crying but I was getting reminded of all the fun we had….

And when I reached back it was time to pack my bags as I had to leave on 23 june too.

The two days passed in quickly and I was there at the railway station. Not nostalgic, rather I was looking forward to be home….

1 day later

I reached home, with mum and dad, but there was so much on my mind, there was so much to be done…

I don’t knw where I stand… and I don’t know exactly what I want…and again time is running out…

See, this is gonna be a small post now….

Tc all

Il be back soon, with something worth a read

happiness comes without knocking :)

कभी कभी कुछ चीसे ऐसी होती है जो आपके दिलो दिमाग पर इतना गहरा असर छोड़ जाती है की उन पालों को भुलाना मुश्किल ही नहीं , असंभव हो जाता है.

आज से तीन साल पहले एक एक्सिडेंट हुआ था| धीरे धीरे सब ठीक हुआ लेकिन एक चोट रुक रुक के दर्द करती थी. एक हाथ से काम करने की क्षमता को खो चूका था मैं| Doctors को दिखाने के बाद भी कुछ नहीं हुआ था. सबने बोला की बस समय के साथ जितना कण्ट्रोल आना होगा आ जाएगा. कोई दवाई या ऑपरेशन हेल्प नहीं कर सकता था. i never gave it a deep thought, but many at times i used get that pinch in my heart. Many at times i used to miss some stuff.

Just yesterday when i went out with my friends to a bowling alley, I wanted to bowl, i used to bowl before the accident but then after that when i tried once, i just could not pick up the call.

Yesterday, standing right beside my strength, i decided to pick it up and give it a shot. i charged down and as the ball rolled there was a grin making its place on my face and a tear in my eye.

Slowly, but surely i am finding my life back.

I am standing steady and fighting against all the odds to prove to the world that whatever happened, i am here to stay and it is just not that easy to wipe me off.

The happiness i got after that shot is incomparable.

Some people who have never met me won't understand my emotions.

But rest who have seen me through that phase, i bet they would certainly and surely get what my heart wants to say.

PS: such a wonderful thing is this blog. Allows you to convert your tears in to words.

So this is it, the dates were announced. 7 June 2010. i have my last exam and then we are graduates. In just 10 days from that I will be moving to Delhi. A new place, a new life, new people.

Everything will begin from the scratch. I will take my memories packed in my mind that will help me to get used to the new atmosphere.

Sometimes I wonder that things will be so different. Daily job, formals, professionalism.

No chai cuts, no bike rides, no bunks, no back benches, no punishments. things will be so different. I'll miss so many things, so many people, Some too important for me. No late night CS sessions. One day you get up and walk out, there is no one who gives a damn to you. No one who will wait in the college canteen for you before you enter the class. No one to text you while your class is on.

No first day first shows.

I will miss all of this. I'll miss this city.

I have so much to write, just don't have the words.

tc

cherio

thanx everyone.

GUILTY OR INNOCENT

thanx for tagging me Eksha
RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

Asked someone to marry you? guilty
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? guilty PS: **not smooched**

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent
Ever told a lie? Guilty
Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty
Kissed a picture? Guilty
Slept in until 5 PM? guilty
Fallen asleep at work/school? GUilty
Held a snake? GUILTY
Been suspended from school? Innocent
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent
Stolen from a store? GUILTY
Been fired from a job? Innocent
Done something you regret? Guilty
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent
Kissed in the rain? Innocent
Sat on a roof top? GUILTY
Kissed someone you shouldn't? GUILTY
Sang in the shower? Guilty
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? GUILTY
Shaved your head? Innocent
Had a boxing membership? Innocent
Made a GIRLfriend cry? GUILTY
Been in a band? GUILTY
Shot a gun? GUILTY
Donated Blood? GUILTY
Eaten alligator meat? Innocent
Eaten cheesecake? GUILTY
Still love someone you shouldn’t? INNOCENT
Have/had a tattoo? GUILTY
Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty
Been too honest? Guilty
Ruined a surprise? Guilty
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty
Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty
Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent
Joined a pageant? Innocent
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty
Had communication with your ex? GUILTY
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? INNOCENT

PS: MAST THA....

I TAG

1) Shruti didi

2) Ravi

3) Naman

4) Kedar

5) Sneha Bhat

from deep inside

It’s sometime very hard to express what you feel.

Something inside your heart takes a lot to travel the path from heart to mouth.

It’s the same case with me. I feel a lot for different people but it’s not easy for me to express it. My behaviour has caused me to break my relations and at the same time to strengthen some too. I have many drafts saved which were started when I wanted to thank someone who did something good, but then, like now and forever they will be just drafts. There is a story that revolves around surbhit saxena. The story that changes everyday. Some actors stay in this, some leave soon, and some become an integral part of this fiction scripted by his almighty.

I being the centre point of the story want to say so much but my scriptwriter didn’t give me that power to express what is in my heart. I feel so helpless sometimes. I love but I can’t express my love, I care but can’t show you how much I care. Sometimes everything diminishes into a single word that reads “loser”, and at that moment there comes a hand from behind me, telling me not to give up, to get up and fight back and win what is destined to be mine. I want to say thank you to this hand but then again I can’t.

I get a hug and I want to make it last forever, the hug is about to end but I don’t want it to end, my mind asks me if there is anyway that I can stay in these arms forever and again I can’t answer. I miss someone and I want to call but I can’t call, I don’t want to disturb anyone, I don’t want to be the reason of pain for anyone. My life takes a new turn every moment. I keep accepting things until one day I give up. I say I quit and again an inspiration crosses me. I get up and fight back again, and I fail, I fall.

Then I find two people standing by my side to pick me up and put me up on my feet and give me the strength to walk this road again and live my script.

I have so much inside me. Don’t know when I will be able to let it out and tell the ones I love. Tell them what is inside my heart for them.

give me some room :P

This journey began on august 20^th 2006, I was on my way to Yol in Himachal Pradesh. On the way I got a call on my cell. “Your college commences on first September.”

ROOM 1

(September 2006 - June 2007)

73 Sidharth nagar

Indore

It was already decided that I’ll share my room with Rohit Ahuja.

Who is Rohit?

He is a person who has seen me grow up. My dad and his have been friends before marriage and we were in the same housing society. So he is like my elder brother.

I reached Indore on 30^th August, so it was still one complete day for me to explore the city before I had to show myself up in college.

On 30^th night, I was taught how to play three card poker. Next day it was movie time for me. We went to a movie in the nearby Cineplex.

It was fun being with Rohit Bhaiya and his group of friends, I was treated very well and I still remember how each and everyone played a different role in teaching me the lessons of life. It was fun I still miss al of them.

ROOM 2

(September 2007-March 2008)

7, Dayanand Nagar

Indore

Ashish, my classmate and my friend was my next roommate. It was during my accident days when he used to stop by and help me with some studies. Once I came back to the room, things were a little bit different. He was usually busy with his work all day long so most of the time was spend with me being online. The loneliness was effecting me and I found some friends in my physios. My friend Ishaan used to visit me with his roommate Sunil. I had some fun time with Ishaan, used to go out with him, but it effected my studies to a great extent. All in all this room was not what anyone would want from a room in college life.

ROOM 3

(March 2008- Till date)

35 C

Main Indrapuri

Indore

It was with Ishaan and Sunil. We three were looking for a new house so we decided to this one. It was awesome, Sunil was a wonderful cook. I loved his paranthas. We would talk for long and have fun together. Me and Ishaan would spend most of our times at Mc Donald’s. Sunil was a little bit different. Kind of serious types. He would spend his time reading the newspaper or studying.

My friend from Jammu Tushar also moved in and it was 3 moths we four stayed together and had loads of fun. Then Sunil felt a need to change the room and decided that he will be moving with a college friend of his.

Fine with me and Ishaan, it was just Tushar me and Ishaan.

Then it was Ishaan’s junior who was searching for a room and he asked to share the room with us for 2 months.

Trideep moved in and before the two months were over me and Ishaan were impressed by his simple, honest and cooperative attitude.

We both had a talk and decided to ask him if he wants to stay. Tushar me Ishaan and Trideep. Then Rohit bhaiya’s cousin Kunal moved to Indore and took a room nearby.

Tushaar decided to change the room, the reason for this still not figured out. Me Trideep Ishaan are now roomies and we have loads of fun. No common account, high level of cooperation and really understanding.

Kunal also stays at our place all day long, would only go back to his place to sleep.

This is real fun.

I’ll miss everyone but three guys the most

Ishaan, Trideep and Kunal

Signing off

Surbhit

PS: our landlord are still unaware of Trideep. Just to save some rent :P

My public love letter :P

To,

My lovely bike

Dear

I miss you so much baby. Just one day more and you'll be back to me.

It has been such a tough time without you. Can you imagine I had to travel in the local bus daily and had to spend forty bucks each day for the auto. Oh! i miss you so much.

You know I had to go and drive someone else's bike, and refuel that too. I know you must not be feeling good about it but trust me, you are still the one and I am still waiting for you,

I didn't like any of those bikes, none treated me the way you do.

One even tried to bang me in the A.T.M door, she refused to stop when i applied the breaks.

1 month seems like lifetime to me.

But now that you recovered well, I promise you we will go on our long drives again, I promise you i'll give you enough fuel.

I hope the mechanic didn't mistreat you, i told him to take proper care of you, and, if you remember i used to visit you everyday to see how much you have recovered.

For the one who tried to put you to ashes, we will deal with him together.

Waiting for you.

I am sending some of your pics to tell you what actually happened and how you have recovered so well

loads of love

yours forever

surbhit

:-*

ex-pect

There are some questions that can never be answered.

****Why do we start expecting somethings, from some special people???****

I answered this question in different moods, i am sharing my answers

when i was full of anger

YOU SHOULD NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE, NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT IS INSIDE YOU, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO FOR THEM, IN THE END IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM ONLY

when i was missing someone

THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO BECOME VERY SPECIAL, EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM THEM IS WRONG, JUST KEEP DOING AND EXPRESSING YOUR LOVE FOR THEM, WE DON'T GIFT TO GET GIFTED

when i was in a very practical mood

SOMETHINGS ARE TO BE EXPECTED, IF THEY ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS THEY SHOULD REALISE YOUR FEELINGS AND SHOULD SOMETIMES DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU, AFTER ALL YOU ARE ALSO GIVING YOURSELF IN.

the best was this,

when i was listening to the song, **i never gonna leave your side, daniel bedingfield**

IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, YOU CAN'T EXPECT, ITS WRONG, AND IN LOVE EVERYTHING COMES APNE AAP SE HI

luv

sub!!!

AFTER BREAKUP FRIENDSHIP, really....

THIS LETTER WAS WRITTEN BY A FRIEND, AFTER WE DISCUSSED THAT HIS GIRL CAN COME BACK TO HIM AS A FRIEND.... HE AGREED AT THAT TIME

A DAY AFTER HE REPLIED

Hello,

The topic we discussed in which you said, that my girl will come back to me and stay as a friend, juat as a friend.

I agreed at that time, but after considering the option, i think I would be doing injustice to her in a way.

If i even agree to the fact that she is "just a friend", then still somewhere in my heart i would be waiting for her to get back, and if that won't happen, then il go back through everything i have done, and may be hurt her emotions again, may be i'll be again the reason for her to accept life without a friend. It's not that i don't want her back in my life.

Today , i have her with me, i have her pics, i have her messages and i have her memories.

I believe that she misses me and she loves me, and hence, everything i do, do it in a way that she is knowing about it and it matters to her what all i do.

Like i started drinking and smoking, but i quit, because i knew she won't like it.

So i think, in a way, m not living without her.

She is there in my heart forever, and may be one day, she will come back to me, like the way she was.

I am very thankful to you that u said that you will pray for us, but i have a request.

I don't believe in prayers, but if you do, and think that your prayer can make any difference, then just do me favor,

pray, that she gets all the happiness in the world, and she marries someone, who can treat her like a princess, because, she really is someone's princess. That's me

Thanks

take care

From my heart, for yours

its seldom that i get up from my sleep and write something

this is straight from my heart, @ 3 in the nyt , written on the back side of my offer letter

mere ashkon ki kasam hai tujhe

mujhse rooth ke na jaana

dil mein tere jab dard uthe

yaad karke mujhe tu pass bulaana

khafa na hona mujhse

tere bina main tanha hoon

door tujhse main kuch bhi nai

sath tere ek nagma hoon

bin tere ghar bhi ghar nahi

sang hai tere hoon toh koi gam nahi

bhula na mujhe main hi tera mahi hoon

awaaz de tu, main hi terea manjhi hoon

dooriyaan mita de, ab toh mere pass aa

kuch pal hai meri zindagi ke

ab aa inhe jee lein zaraa

meri rahoon pe saathi hai tu

tanha bhi chal sakta hoon, par saath tera ek guzarish hai

is guzarish ko poora karde tu

meri har ek saans ab teri hai

bas apne dil mein rakhle tu

love

sub!!!!

tears and smiles :)

it was back in 1997, everyone was playing holi, and me, my mum, and my brother had another reason to smile, my dad was coming back from germany in the very same month of march, after staying away from us for the last six months.

My brother was busy with his friends, and me and mum were at my place. i always tried to avoid holi, not because, i din't like it, but because i found it very tiring when after the colors, i had to spend hours to wash them away.

I was helping my mum in the kitchen, when the door bell alarmed us, i went to open the, cautious, not to be targeted by the mob of my friends. what they would is ring the bell, you open the door, and they will color u in a moment.

anyways gathering all my guts, i opened the door..

"namaste uncle" My uncle was standing outside the door.

"namaste beta"

i opened the door and greeted him in, i hugged me and wished me happy holi, i called mumma

He relaxed himself on the couch.

There was someething in his eyes, something was not good.

i felt uneasy , but i was just 9 years old so i had to look at him and i decided to stay mum.

i remember his words

"bhabhi ji, Ajit ka project 3 mahine or chalega, woh ab june tak waapis aaega...."

that was it, before the tear in my eyes could flow down my cheek i saw my mum dropping a tear.

This was the first time i saw her cry, before this it was only me who handled this business.

The evening was quiet, we did not have a telephone then, so my father used to call our neighbours.

Our neighbour called mum, as dad had called them to tell them he will be calling again in 5 mins.

we waited, each tick of the second sent throbs. the phone rang,

aunty was already aware that dad won't be coming this month, they moved out of the room, and my mum cried on the phone...

I was happy to see my brother telling her that its just a mtter of 3 months, he was only 13 years old.

It certainly wasn't a long time, and it was june, the best part was, that we had our holidays, so we went to delhi, at IGI airport to pick him up, the flight was to land at 02:00 am, and we were waiting

It was announced, the flight had landed and a few minutes later i saw my dad, with two huge bags in his trolley going directly inside a shop.

He came out with one more big polybag.

Few years later i came to know that ,that shop is better know as the custom free shop.

The best thing was to see him again after 10 months.

I still have the letters i used to write him, he kept them all, this holi 2010, my mum showed me the letters

The first letter said

"papa, aap mere liye ek remote waali car leke aana, or bahut saari chocolates bhi..."

the last letter said

"papa, aap gift karidne mein time mat waste kariye, jaldi aa jao.."

www.surbhitsaxena.com

I don't know if this was needed or not but i had a strong desire to get it.

I was just telling my dad about my hobby and my desire to have my own custom domain, and he gave me his credit card, i got it, done

Thanx pops

i got a new email id too

surbhit@surbhitsaxena.com

lol

happy week, very happy week..

smiles :D

The story that transformed me PART THREE

befor starting with this post, you should read this post .This is a continuation to the post linked.



vishal was sitting in the hospital for his fiance' was undergoing a brain surgery following a serious accident, that happened on her way to indore, where the ceremony was scheduled

ashima was in the O.T

vishal was sitting outside, and his dad and and brother were busy arranging things where the family of aashima was to be shifted, only ashima was having critical injuries, rest all his family were having fractures.

The Doctor came out of the room, and called out vishal.

"yes doctor, is she fine?" vishal sounded tired and exhausted

"See, we have removed the clot, but she is not responding to us, her pulse is on, she breathing, she is alive"

"if she is then why is she not responding doctor"

"son she is in a state of coma" said the doctor, putting his hand on vishal's shoulder

vishal did not say anything, he was shocked,

he went back and everything that was happening did not matter to him...

vishal was staring at the floor, thinking about the pain ashima might be in

His Dad and brother were talking to the doctor

Vishal got up and left

He unlocked his car and reached his place..

He went straight up to his room, through the garden which had a decorated stage, he walked through empty stalls, everything seemed to be hollow now.

He opened his almirah and there in front of him was a ring, a diamond ring, which ashima selected for herself.

He held the ring and cried, he cried for a long time, untill he felt his brothers hand on his shoulder.

i saw bhaiya and i could see a tear in his eyes, it was very dark and i was feeling cold

so he told me to go down, we were in the room, which certainly was warm, he opened his almirah and took a file folder out.

He opened it and showed me a photograph,

It was him standing, dressed impressively in a cream colored suit, beside him there was a ashima, dressed in a red suit, lying on the bed, eyes closed, and the third person was vishal, who was holding ashima's hand, with a ring......

and bhaiya said

"she is my bhabhi...."

ashima is in delhi, still in coma, it has been three years now, vishal is working and is living with her, he has appointed two nurses to take care of his wife,

ashima once moved her hand and that was the day vishal got her a new necklace...

vishal is happy to be with her and waiting for her to talk to him someday.

ashima never said anything, but i think she is also very happy...

if love can cure

then it will

tc

luv

sub!!!

The story that transformed me PART TWO

befor starting with this post, you should read this post .This is a continuation to the post linked.



Ashima....

Ashima....

Vishal screamed in the lobby of the hospital where his fiance' was supposedly admitted

A nurse came running to him

"sir, please stay quiet, it's a hospital"

"sister, there is a family that just got addmitted, where are they"

"The road traffic accident case?"

vishal nodded to avoid attracting any more eyes to him

"Oh, sir they are in the I.C.U, you please wait, you cant go in.."

"how are they, are they fine??"

"i'll let you meet the doctor who is handling them, sir you please relax and take a seat..." saying this the nurse left, ordering the ward boy to get glass of water for vishal

vishal was waiting in the lobby, it was easy for the nurse to say, relax, but was impossible for vishal, his to be wife was in the hospital and he didn't know how was she.

The I.C.U door opened, a Doctor walked out..

vishal rushed to him and asked him

"sir... ashima... ashima garg, how is she sir....??""

"relax young man, you sit, will talk to you in a moment, are you a relative??"

"i am her fiance'"

"you relax son, we will get back to you in a while"

Before vishal could ask him anything he went inside, vishal tried to go inside I.C.U

but was stopped by the watchman.

Vishal turned back to see his dad and younger brother approaching him.

"beta, kaise hai woh"

vishal could not fight his tears anymore

"the doctor said nothing"

"everything will be fine"said his dad

.

the coffee was over, the sky was dark, i could already see some tears in his eyes, don't know why i was getting a feeling the bhaiya was somewhere related to this story, i said nothing, i took his cup and put it down, and leaned forward and rested my chin on my hand, trying to convey my interest in listening to the whole story, he continued.....

.

the doctor came out of the ICU, vishal was the first one to notice ...

he was there in front of him in a flash,

"doctor how are they".....

"see we could not save the girl, i am sorry" The doctor said trying his level best to handle vishal who's heart stopped palpitating.

"how are the other people" vishal's brother asked....

"The head of the family, has a crushed arm, the mother also has fractured her ribs, the boy has fractured his shoulder and arm, and the other girl has a brain clot and skull fracture, only one of you can come in to see them, but make sure..." the doctor was not complete with what he had to say but vishal cut him in between,

"what do you mean the other girl, ashima was their only daughter??"

"what??, there were 2 young girls who were in the car" the doctor said that

"what do you mean by that, ASHIMA IS THE ONLY DAUGHTER"vishal said

"See, anyone of you can come to identify them."the doctor said and called a nurse to take one of them in.

vishal was overwrought,confused and completely clueless of what was going.

Seeing this, vishal dad decided to go in...

it took him sometime and vishal would give the door of ICU a look every 2 seconds.

his dad came out of the door,

"dad, kya hua, tell me she not the one..."vishal was almost out of control

"son, its not ashima, its someother girl who must be travelling with them"

"how is ashima papa???"

" she has a brain clot, the doctors are preparing for the operation"

.

.

.

.

.

vishal was at least a bit hopeful now....

REST IN THE NEXT POST........

The story that transformed me PART ONE

THIS IS A TRUE STORY, I HAVE JUST CHANGED THE NAMES

.

.

In my last valentine's special post, I mentioned about the person, who's story transformed my life.

Now i think it won't be much of a painstaking job for me to let you through the experience he had, with the help of my words. Hope you don't pall.

After my brother's marriage, my life had turned upside down. Not because my brother got married, but because i got dumped just 4 days before his marriage. The ceremonies kept me busy and after 1 month when i reached Indore back, things were very different. There were no phone calls to wake you up, there were no phone calls to wish you goodnight. I had my exams at the corner and the surroundings of my house started to haunt me with the memories that were never coming back. I tried calling to get back together from time to time but with every call it seemed impossible. I decided that if i stay at my place, i won't be able to study, so left for his place.

He was working, elder to me, very supporting, used to see me cry many times a day. It was one evening and i had not done anything remarkable with my books since the day had started.

He told me to take two chairs on the rooftop. Since, the chairs were quite heavy it took me some time to get them upstairs. The view was awesome, it was the 7th floor of the building and for a city like Indore you could actually see the skyline, the panoramic view was astonishing. The sun had half disappeared and the sky was glowing orange, there were a few kids playing on the rooftop of their bungalow.

I heard his foot steps and turned around to see him holding two cups, sorry mugs, of coffee.

We sat down and he started talking about my studies which made me a bit uncomfortable as in reality i hadn't studied anything since the morning.

"Is it because of your breakup that this is happening??"

"I don't know, may be yes"

He smiled, rather laughed at me and that was the reaction that i had least expected.

He took a sip of his coffee and said,

"I'll tell you a story"

It was in December 2007 when Ashima would blush on anything.

People around her were happy, so was she, she was getting married

It was the day of her engagement.

Ashima and Vishal had been together for 4 years, they saw each other on the day of their counselling, happened to choose the same college and same branch, became great buddies and lovers

Vishal was slim, tall, working with a multinational company and was earning well.

Ashima was short, her face was ovoid shaped and big eyes made her look like a doll.

Vishal's family had arranged for the engagement, and everything was almost ready.

Vishal's phone rang

"hieeeee"

"hey baby where have you reached"

"well we are two hours away from indore'

"hmmm, m waiting"

"vishal, i just wanted to tell you that..."

"that....???"

"that i love you..."

"i love you too, now you hangup and don't disturb the driver"

"oh i am not, but he is one hot dude!!!"

"achcha, ussi se shaadi karle fir"

"sochte hain.... hehehe"

"chal bye"

"bye"

.

.

Vishal continued with his work and soon it was 4 pm, the time of arrival for Ashima and family, Vishal called her up but her cell was coming switched off.

He called her brother his number was coming out of reach

Then he called his father's number

the bell rang for a while and vishal was growing restless.

"Hello" a person picked up, breathing heavy, vishal knew it was not her father, he had many talks with him before to butter him up to agree for the engagement to be in Indore.

"Who's this"

since the person said the same words to me, i'll write the same words here

"Dekhiye aap jo bhi bol rahe hai, is family ka accident ho gaya hai, aap please jaldi Bombay hospital aa jaaye, ya inke parichit ko inform karde"

(see, whoever you are, this family had a terrific accident so you please rush to the Bombay hospital or else inform their relatives)

"m coming in 10 minutes" vishal said, hung up and ran across the garden towards his car

He was only yards away from his place when his dad called up

"what happened where are you going??" his dad's voice had concern

"papa ashima ki car ka accident ho gaya hai, bombay hospital mein hai, please jaldi aa jao, m going there only"

.

.

.

.

.

.

it does not end here , Ashima didn't die, the story continued, and il tell it to you....

being dumped!!!!

Almost every human in their youth have at least one relationship.

Love is in the air............

your 32 teeth are always on display....

you are always on the phone or texting...

you start forgetting your friends

your number is busy all night long....

you create bahaanas to get money out of your parents to get your cell recharged...

and sometimes, your grade comes down...

anyways... you are in love so dont bother much...

but

but

but

after a bed full of roses, you come across some of the harsh realities of life...

and the final gift of this endless love is a BREAKUP...

The reasons may be many,

* The guy is not serious

* The girl is not serious

* The guy tends to get overpossesive

* The girl does not give him any space

* Either of them thinks that there is no future in the relationship

whatever,

the funny thing is the way people react to the beakup...

the reactions are very different, unique yet common....

i'll share a few

~ a friend of mine decided that he won't take any girl seriously since his girlfriend dumped him cause of no reason

~ a girl tried to cut her self...

~ another guy friend decided not to talk to any girl.....

~a very close friend called that guy to ccd, broke up, payed the bill and never talked to that guy, who was just playing around

~ someone gets so depressed that they need a doctor

~ someone starts boozing and smoking

~ someone tries his level best to get back

~ someone decided that no matter they are not going back

All these reactions to a breakup expresses how weak they are, how dependent they are on the other person.

Why is it that love makes us so dependent on someone that we can't even stand on our own....

We can't carry on, we can't move on....

i had a breakup too, i also cried, i also was very weak untill one day my friend 6 years elder to me told me his story.....

when he was living his life after what happened,i decided to start all over again.

Now i feel like i am strong enough to be what i was...

and waiting for the right person to enter...

.

Guys and girls, enjoy this valentines, but always remember, but remember one thing

you get this small life once, learn to live the realities...

enjoy....

and my valentines this year is me only

cus now i love myself more than anyone!!!

luv

sub!!!

PS: this is not the case with all the love stories, some people are blessed with just one relationship, which ends up in marriage...

:D :D 150 days

it all goes back to the day it began,

from places we arrive and share a room

strangers we are, still we know each other,

.

we sit, talk n the friendship has started

we go to a senior to get slapped

come back and talk shit about the ass

.

we bunk, we smoke, we booze

its 3 in the nyt n we r out for a cruise

never had so much fun i swear

u wont find me in my room, m enjoin out there...

.

we hide those bottles no dad wants to see

anyone farts, but evry1 says, it wasnt me..

we stay up and talk to our girls for long

and get up only to realise that 2 classes are gone

we clean ourselves on weekends

n our room on monthends

.

we study overnyt to clear

and we celebrate with our branded beer

except table rules we break all the rules

.

we get a bike, and a shade too

n 20 is wat we spend to get it refueled

we download torrents night and day

we live in nights not in day

hottest girl in class is the what the wallpaper is of

porn is something our hardisk is never short of

this is how a student lives in india

or may be its my college, is it the same case with ya

is it how you guys enjoy

or you got something better

this is life which will end in next 150 days

and m gonna enjoy it, we have so many ways

....

luv

surbhit

let the pictures speak

A morning in my city

Every one on their way to work

many would be having troubles, like this poor chap

And everyone waits in the traffic

cars, bikes and every vehicle.... waiting

and with time slowly they move and reach their destination

and my city waits for the same thing to happen the next morning

many people experience the same thing everyday, but they don't get out of their cars and hustle, they keep calm.

this is the difference in INDIA and every other country

keep calm, stay happy

"peace"

os' first song

this is the first song i penned down for OS

we did not sleep the complete night tryin to write some good lyrics but nuthin came out of my head and this happened when we were at a cafe' bunking my college 9 am, at a sheesha lounge....

seriously , crazy days

chck it out n do comment

n this is d first poster f our band>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

soniya maan jaaa,

aiven ankhaan na churaa

koi tere bina dil nu naiyo jachda

jo tu aaven kadhi tenu dil vich rakhan

tere sang de siva kuch naiyo mangda

khwahishen, yeh meri..............

kyun adhoori rahii..............

main adhoora raha..........................

mujhe tu na milli...............................

yaad aati rahin,

mujhe baaatein teri

mujhe tu na milli

zindagi kho gayi...

bheege the har bearish hum jiski bahoon mein

gum hai har mausam uski hi rahoon mein

electric guitar solo followed by drums solo

khwahishen, yeh meri..............

kyun adhoori rahii..............

main adhoora raha..........................

mujhe tu na milli...............................

yaad aati rahin,

mujhe baaatein teri

mujhe tu na milli

zindagi kho gayi...

ek subah fir hui, or main chal diya

badla har mausam jisme tha main akela…..

……………..

Nan nan na nanaananana

Nan nan na nanaananana

Nan nan na nanaananana

Nan nan na nanaananana