Chin up,Always

Everyone has a period in their life when every thing is going bad. Be it studies, job , relations or anything else.

When I just stepped out of my teenage, I had the first break up of my life and trust me your first breakup hurts you more than anything. Got into a job and it dint really turn out the way I had expected it to.Came to Bangalore and things were troubling me here too.

All this made me think(subconsciously) that everything bad happens with me.

But,

Lately I have been talking to a lot of people. I realized that everybody has troubles.

From a girl trying hard to get into an MBA college to a boy who is working hard to establish himself as a singer. A girl trying hard to convince her parents to allow her to marry her lover to a boy working in an IT company and studying to become a astrophysicist. 

Everybody has  got some problems and that lean patch where things just don’t work out. Life throws shit at everyone. You cant escape this. The earlier you learn to accept this, the easier it becomes for you to cross this phase.

Luckily it seems that it has just got over for me. I have finally settled down in Bangalore and have much less things to worry about.  So I believe that if lately you have had that feeling of things not going your way, then trust may they will ‘ultimately’ go ‘your’ way, all you have to do is have patience and keep your chin up and keep trying. 

Sooner or later you will be loved, you will get the job you always wanted and you will be capable enough to do everything you ever dreamed of.

Just think over it, If we don’t cry then we can only smile isn’t it?

I wrote these lines  couple of months back. They fit the best with this post

"whats in your mind

whats on your tongue

breathing heavy

job undone

smile on your face

with a broken heart

dont worry my friend

this time will also pass"

College Life revisited ;)

5th Jan 2012
2:00 AM

Abhishek: Bhaag Surbhit
Surbhit : Ruk yaar, woh aaega abhi.
Abhishek: Abe! Bhaag…..
……
………
3 hours earlier

Abhishek: Hello
Hitender: Ghar kab tak aaega?
Abhishek: 10 minutes
Hitender: Aaja, party hai.
……
……….
5th jan 1:30 AM
Surbhit: Bas yeh akhiri hai, fir khaana khaenge
Hardik: Abe Surbhit yaar, jaldi kyun hai
Surbhit: Salle bhook lag rahi hai, main khaana garam kar raha hoon tum saaf karo and news paper bichao.
…………
………..
15 minutes later

Surbhit: paan khaana hai yaar
Hitendra: paan nahi milega raat ke 2 baje hai
Surbhit: Challo fir ek walk karke aate hai
Everyone: challo

5 Minutes later
Abhishek: Police waale aa rahe hai
Surbhit: Side pe aajao
Police Constable: Kidher jaa rahe ho?
Abhishek: Sir ATM jaa rahe hai ICICI ke
Police Constable: 2 Baj rahe hai. Daroo piya hai?
Abhishek: Nahi sir bas khaana khaaya hai
Police Constable: Yeh koi time hai ATM jaane ka?
Surbhit: Sir, Kal bus ke ticket k paise nahi hai toh ATM jaa rahe hai.
Police Constable: Ruko
…Calls his officer…
Police Constable: Chori karta hai?
Surbhit: Sir, TCS mein kaam karte hai, aap bolo toh ID leke aa jaaye.
Police Constable: Kidher se hai?
Surbhit: Jammu and Kashmir
I still remember his reaction when I told him that I am from Jammu and Kashmir.
Police Constable: ID card dikhao
Surbhit: sir abhi nahi hai ghar pe hai, leke aata hoon
Police Constable (Shouts): Aye Ruk.
Surbhit: Sir, idher hi hai ghar, house number 1432
Police Constable: Idher ruko, Officer aata hai, wahi baat karega.
…
…
…
He finds a car parked nearby with flashing headlights.
Police constable: Idher hi ruko. Main aata
He started moving away from us and we were unaware of what to do, we slowly started moving towards our house.
Moments later I see abhishek taking his slippers in his hands (reason still unknown to me O_O)
Abhishek: Bhaag Surbhit
Surbhit : Ruk yaar, who aaega abhi.
Abhishek: Abe! Bhaag…..
Surbhit: hardik bhaag
And we all ran non stop and must have broken ben johnson’s record.
In no time we were home, breathing heavy trying to unlock the door.
Entered the room, switched off the lights
And everybody could not stop laughing.
Since I told him the house number we were expecting a knock at the door, but luckily no body bothered

Excitement at its peak


Thanks for reading
Please leave your comments
Love
Surbhit

lose yourself

Hi :)
Year 2011 is gone. For everyone who used to follow my blog I have not updated my blog since April 2011. I am glad if you missed my writing. If you din't then I am sorry I have started writing again.(Pun intended)
Not that i did not have anything to write on but i just lost the will to express. Things changed as I moved to Chennai and were beyond my control until December 2011.

Perhaps the worst phase was waiting for me. For those who know and have been with me through the tough time in 2007, this was even worst.
I have never experienced any conspiracy set up against me. I have never been the eye of any hurricane. I have had many people around me but at one time when I needed somebody to talk and share what all I was going through. I had nobody.

I have spent hours sitting on the footpath, because I dint want anyone to be around. I so much started enjoying my loneliness and this became a daily schedule. Get free from office, ride to some place where silence is waiting for me to come. Was it me or the pressure that was driving is still unknown. Lessons learnt the hard way are never forgotten and so I learnt the hard way too. Since I have left Chennai, I know many people, I don’t want to name, who were very close to me now cant stop bitching about me. Why? Because, I managed a transfer. My only answer to you if you are reading is that the you can never do what I did. Not because you are not capable but because you spend your energy in bitching rather than planning.
Anyway, more words for you would be injustice to the rest of the so many important things that happened to me in the last 8 months.
I am in Bangalore now, and everything seems to be getting back to normal. Of course scars never go, but still I have moved on over what has happened to me. I have certainly hurt a few people in the process and they know I am sincerely sorry. I wish one day I am able to put things back in place for them. I have started freaking out again and I have started to be the way I was. Life looks beautiful as of now and I know it will change for sure. I miss Indore and the fun I had with a friend who would play guitar and we all would sing. Friends in Bangalore are too busy in their own personal lives and its understandable. So, Since everyone is busy with what makes them happy. I should also start writing again. It makes me happy. M sure though, the reader would be having different thoughts on that.
Happy New Year.
Thanks for reading.
Please leave a comment.
Love and regards
Surbhit

Getting the other half right.

Everything changes.
Everyone changes and I am no exception to this. From a very submissive personality to a leader, now I have changed to a very dominant personality.
I realised it a few days back when I observed that I am no more able to control my anger.
I have become more rigid and adamant. If I feel something is wrong than I don't listen to others.
I shout, knowing that it's not required, still I don't stop myself.
The consequences are that I am hurting people around me.
I am pushing away people who really matter.
I always say that "When you know you are wrong, you are half right."
Seems to me that I have been satisfying myself by being just half right.
Lately I realised that the other half is equally important.
Now I can't go back and apologise to everyone, but if you read this and you feel that i have been this rude to you sometime, than I want you to know that I have realised where I was wrong and I will work on this attitude of mine.
A very special person said to me.

A Leader is always loved but a dictator is never.

unforgettable journeys

28 August 2006
9:00 AM

As the engine whistled, I got in the train. My mom and my dad didn’t. They were at the platform and they were not travelling with me. I hadn’t stayed away from my family for more than two days. This time we knew it will be long. I was leaving for my college. My mom knew that this is something which is necessary, but , it was hard for her to come to the fact that I won’t be around. I was least interested to go. I was not interested to join my college. I was not looking forward to the hostel life or anything. I just didn’t want to leave. As the train moved I saw a drop of tear rolling down her cheek, which was way too far for me to wipe it off. As if I skipped a heartbeat. I came to the fact about how tough it’s going to be. The train moved on and she was out of my sight soon, my tears which were hiding from my mother made their presence felt as soon as my train left the platform.

16th July 2007
11:30 PM

I was in the train with Mom and Dad. Two of my friends who were also in Indore with me, accompanied us. The pain in my shoulder and arm was getting out of control, but compared to the what pain I got a month back, this was actually nothing. So, I reached the door and I stopped for a moment to take a look around. There were around 10 people standing down waiting for me to get down. My Dad helped me to get down and I declined the wheel chair. I decided that I can walk to the car. I was overwhelmed and surprised. As I stepped down, there was this feeling of being home. Jammu. I thought that finally it’s all over and I have made it home, safe and alive. I controlled my tears because I did not want anyone their to lose their enthusiasm. The car stopped in front of my house it was almost midnight but everyone was standing out waiting to see if I was fine. My friends and neighbors. I took a step and there she was standing. My aunt, very close to our family. I hugged her and that’s when I could not control my emotions. I was not sad, I was just happy to make it.

21 June 2010
4:30 PM

I was at the railway station again. This time I was not alone. It was me along with my roommate from Delhi and two friends who had come to see us off. College got over and this was it, we were leaving. There were no tears, just promises to keep in touch and yearly meets. The train moved and we got inside. I was going home. I was unemployed so the happiness of being home was compromised. I was making plans of getting enrolled in some course which will also give me a job later on. I reached Delhi. Me and my friend said good bye. I reached home and called my friend who had come to see me off. Moments later my brother walked in, back from office.

12 October 2010
11:30 PM

I was at the Delhi airport. As happy as I can be. I was going home, with a job and the best part was that I would be spending nothing less than two months “being home”. I was texting all my friends, I called my Mom about what I wanted for lunch , I put in my earplugs and put on some RnB. I reached home. Today it has been almost 1 and a half month. I have got used to being home again. I feel the same way I felt when I was in school. I know that I have to leave soon, again, for a long time, this time it will be longer than ever before. I know that time my Mom and Dad will come to see me off. I know that I will again hold my tears until they are out of sight. I know that I’ll not be ok.

Muddle Headed, as always

While sitting on the couch and resting my bums and sipping some tea, while soaking some vitamin D, I was in deep thoughts.
It was no hot model bombshell. Not about anyone doing me wrong. No apologies. No nostalgia. It was about how procrastinating I have become, and I think I am not the only one. We can make a wolf pack and then keep on delaying our jobs together. At least I won't feel guilty after that, cos i know everyone is being an ass. I delay everything and the only reason that is good enough is that may be i have lost my seriousness about issues which ought to be dealt with a little more seriousness than the seriousness i deal them with. I usually waste my time talking to people or downloading torrents or writing some silly rhymes, which are of no good. But still i can't find myself motivated enough to take the very first step towards the goal. Well yes there is this thing that I am a good goal setter. When I look back after that, I realise that I set some goals and forgot about them. There has to be a way for me to start getting serious about my stuff. It's high time. The worst part is that to delay a job i come up with cockamamie reasons. I just end up discombobulating myself. There are always two outcomes when I delay something.
1) The job never gets done, hence, M a loser
2) The job gets done at the very last moment, M still a (you know what, right?)
I don't find the will to get off the bed, stop the movie or whatever I find comfort in and exert my brain in some coding or software engineering stuff.
Sounds lame because, I am going to be a part of a software company very soon.
God, I wish i did not have tha rinky-dink piece of nerve fibres stuffed inside my skull.

#25

Like the sky
and the water
we're so far away, from eachother

like the mountain
and the ocean
we're so far away, fom eachother


there has to be a place
has to be a way
so that tonyt i can make u stay

baby thats the way
u n me
we r gonna be together always
m gonna hold u now
m gonna tell u how
how we are gonna be together always


like a child
to his mother
m gonna keep u in my heart forever

like the moon
calls the water
m gonna come to u like that forever



girl ur a gem
which m not gonna trade
girl u r a card
which m not gonna play
girl u r a memory
which will never fade


baby thats the way
u n me
we r gonna be together always
m gonna hold u now
m gonna tell u how
how we are gonna be together always